evangelinik

oops...

2007-02-05T00:34:00.000-08:00

oh oh oh! i didn't know i didn't blog for such a long time.

i even forgot my username and password.

i am so sorry if there are still any readers!

anyway "thanks" to carol & natsu constant reminder so i am here to blog!

serious la if u didn't remind me i really forgotten that i have a blog out there!

thanks ah!

anyway just a quick update cos feeling sleepy le la.

having my internship this semester.

first of all let me thank god for letting me pass the interview.

working in a MNC now, it's super super draining la.

but it's definitely a rare experience that not many get.

the only good thing is the pay!

and those interns from ntu and nus.

they are... haha...

and my boss seems to like me alot too.

grr... hope my pay comes quick la.

i have so many things to buy!

humm since this is my first entry for 2007.

let's talk bout my resolutions then.

i only have one resolution and that is to do well in school.

ganbarimasu.

心

2006-11-07T00:45:00.000-08:00

看着她，
勾起了许多回忆，
回忆的，
都是开心、美好、浪漫的，
而因为投入了的那份感情，
而心如刀割，
伤透了、
伤得彻底。

她的那句话，
更是揪着我的心，
再度回想
当初的纯真、无邪、冲动，
最终成了悔恨。
不知为你流过多少泪，
而因为被伤害过，
如今，
不想伤害其他人，
不想再次陷入当初的陷阱。

Love Story

2006-10-29T17:15:00.001-08:00

爱的故事有很多
你一定听过
她们说
最美的爱情像湖泊

美的忍不住停留
而任性的风
吹过了
却飘下一片片叶落

放开手往北方走
留下伤心的树独自忍受
你离开我连一句话都不说
只默默看着今晚天空星光闪烁

看今夜的流星
划过了天际
笑我的心
我无法再冷静
请你要倾听
你是我的唯一
我不愿去相信
我们之间
隔着海洋的距离
我的爱
已融化在空气里

爱的故事有很多
你一定听过
她们说
最美的爱情像湖泊

美的忍不住停留
而任性的风
吹过了
却飘下一片片叶落

放开手往北方走
留下伤心的树独自忍受
你离开我连一句话都不说
只默默看着今晚天空星光闪烁

看今夜的流星
划过了天际
笑我的心
我无法再冷静
请你要倾听
你是我的唯一
我不愿去相信
我们之间
隔着海洋的距离
我的爱
已融化在空气里

看今夜的流星
划过了天际
笑我的心
我无法再冷静
请你要倾听
你是我的唯一
我不愿去相信
我们之间
隔着海洋的距离
我的爱
已融化在空气里

shocked.troubled.confused.

2006-10-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

i didn't have the mood for anything right now. i got the shock of my life. i was talking to junwei 10mins ago. and right now i received a sms from him telling me that his sis and brother in law met with a car accident. no one knows the severity. i heard his brother in law is pretty injured. i pray that they are alright. life is unpredictable.

i didn't know what i was doing. i didn't know what my actions will lead me to. i didn't know where they will lead me to. i didn't know the consequences. i didn't know. i really didn't know. i only know what i did was wrong. i only know things happened in a moment of folly. would you forgive me?

mum's words struck me hard. ぼくのかごです. i felt stifled once again. sandwiched? あなたのかごです. 嫌いです.

どうしますか?

ぼくはじぶんでかんがえている.

sigh. out.

想起你

2006-10-23T02:13:00.000-07:00

想起你，笑容总会偷偷地跑出来。想起你的angry face，你长长的头发，就忍俊不禁，笑个不停。

想起你的时候，就是这样情不自禁。可能是你的superpower吧，让我天天期待着想起你。

想起你，有时候也会落泪，心酸。想起你的笑容，你的笑声，你不肯吃东西的样子，就突然很害怕，担心会有失去你的那一天。

想起你的时候，就是这样情不自禁。又笑又哭，又开心又害怕。

可能爱就是这样的，让人变得坚强，同时让人显得格外薄弱。让人充满希望，也同时让人担心感情会有期限。让人付出一切，却让人完全无助。

今天你要嫁给我

2006-10-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

春暖的花开带走冬天的感伤
微风吹来浪漫的气息
每一首情歌忽然充满意义
我就在此刻突然见到你

春暖的花香带走冬天的饥寒
微风吹来意外的爱情
鸟儿的高歌拉近我们距离
我就在此刻突然爱上你
听我说
手牵手跟我一起走
创造幸福的生活
昨天你来不及
明天就会可惜
今天嫁给我好吗

夏日的热情打动春天的懒散
阳光照耀美满的家庭
每一首情歌都会勾起回忆
想当年我是怎么认识你
冬天的忧伤结束秋天的孤单
微风吹来苦辣的思念
鸟儿的高歌唱着不要别离
此刻我多么想要拥抱你
听我说
手牵手跟我一起走
过着安定的生活
昨天你来不及
明天就会可惜
今天你要嫁给我
听我说
手牵手我们一起走
把你一生交给我
昨天不要回头
明天要到白首
今天你要嫁给我

听着礼堂的钟声
我们在上帝和亲友面前见证
这对男女生就要结为夫妻
不要忘了这一切是多么的神圣
你愿意生死苦乐永远和她在一起
爱惜她尊重她
安慰她保护着她
两人同时建立起美满的家庭
你愿意这样做吗
yes i do!

听我说
手牵手一路到尽头
把你一生交给我
昨天已是过去
明天更多回忆
今天你要嫁给我

us

2006-10-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

i can't remember when it was good
moments of happiness elude
maybe i just misunderstood
all of the love we left behind
watching the flashbacks intertwine
memories i will never find
so i'll love whatever you become
and forget that reckless things we've done
i think our lives have just begun
and i'll feel my world crumbling
feel my life crumbling
feel my soul crumbling away
and falling away
falling away with you

you can tag

2006-10-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

tagboard was officially hacked.

so unexpected.

the system sure have plenty of loopholes.

i can finally put what i studied into use.

security & transaction modules. haha.

anyway i want to say thank you to those who called me last night.

i am fine now. =)

am so looking forward to the 18th of nov.

and xie xue er ain't u a cute little thing.

who knows nothing but eat and sleep! haha.

oops i didn't even come to my agenda.

people my new tagboard is still at the same old place.

spent some time customising it to blend with bloggy.

phew. out.

suddenly everything is coming back

2006-10-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

home. i am so drained.

i've been sleeping at 3 am and waking up at 5:30 everyday.

anyway left school at 12:15 midnight yesterday.

it was pitch dark.

the thick fog was stifling.

and the silent journey triggered my mind to wander.

i looked around and i'm all alone.

no one in front of me to lead the way.

no one behind me to catch me if i fall.

no one beside me to share the burdens of today.

no one. no one at all.

and it's my fault.

aggravated by circumstances and compounded by a stubborn character.

it has always been a lonely walk.

even though i know there are people around me whom i love and love me.

it has still, always been a lonely walk.

i can't find a way to verbalise it, i can't say it, i can't share it.

i don't know how.

and here i am drowning in my thoughts.

i am human too. you know?

i've been working very hard.

you said time is what i need.

you said you'll give me all the time.

can't you remember that?

i don't need any promises, cos i no longer trust anyone.

i don't need anything in return.

i can't keep trying.

i don't know what on earth is going on.

i have no idea what you're thinking.

i cannot go through everyday.

by wondering, questioning, guessing what's going on.

and hoping silently that i am doing the right thing.

i can't do this injustice to myself.

it's not supposed to be like this.

feeling weak.

2006-10-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

i am feeling so drained. i've been feeling rather weak recently. i think i have been overworking myself. feeling nauseating and all. i can even feel my heart palpitating so fast right now. it's not a good sign. i cannot collapse at this period. i just can't. if i can't take care of myself, how can i even take care of the people i love? mum needs me at this period.

sigh. goodbye GIP to shanghai. my best confidant, junwei will be leaving next year. so sorry i can't accompany u. i'm supposed to leave too but the twists and turns in life are just so unpredictable. i'm staying for my family and someone. after much considerations, i realize just how much i needed my family in my life and vice-versa.

frustrated. confused. stifled. dilemma.

i promise i will reply to the tags as soon as i'm feeling better.

thank you peeps for all the care and concern showered during my stay.

let me get my health back on track before anything else.

caren: hey scandal. u better take care of ur health too. u're not young anymore.

nana: i hope u're feeling better le. i know what u're going through. i'll try to get back to u soon k?

xiuting: yup good luck for ur paper if u're reading this.

you: enough. i'm sorry. i hope u will understand what i am going through now.

i'm really exhausted. drawing my last amount of strength.

i've to sleep now. take care peeps.

Why we fail exams?

2006-10-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, cos the year has only 365 days.

Typical academic year for a student :

1) Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2) Summer break - 50 days where weather is hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3) 8 hours daily for sleep - 130 days gone.
Days left 141.

4) 1 hour daily for playing (good for health) - 15 days.
Days left 126.

5) 2 hours daily for food (chewing & swallowing) - 30 days.
Days left 96.

6) 1 hour daily for talking (man is a social animal) - 15 days.
Days left 81.

7) Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8) Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Balance = 6 days.

9) For sickness - at least 3 days.
Remaining = 3 days.

10) Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11) That 1 day is your birthday - how can you study on that day!!!
Balance = 0 day.

"So how can a student pass?"

to give, or not to give up?

2006-10-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

happy children's day everyone... hey today's awesome. the kids are so cute... i swear they can bring a smile to anyone by just looking at them. sweet innocence... i love it. yay my passion to serve and help is back. it had been quite some time since i last rendered my service. God gave me hands so that i can help the less fortunate. i'm feeling both ashamed and guilty. the orphanage kids are so cute. and the autism children are those that we should help the most. they are like 'living life behind glass'. i'm so looking forward to next week. oh darn it! this also reminds me that my term break will officially end tonight... before i forget, lynn thanks for listening to me.

sometimes i just get soooo tired of doing certain things...

there are many times when we get plain tired of doing things. of getting things right… or at least trying to. how do you explain that something that felt so right and that was so right end up in flames?

see, i think… it’s the same with everything we set out to do. exams, relationships (with man and with God), studying for exams etc. we are always subconsciously asking ourselves: ‘to give, or not to give up?’ should we just throw in the towel and do something else? something easier and less tiring?

sometimes i ask myself, does it pay to be different? because if it isn’t then i really should just allow myself to be like everyone else… just flow with the crowd man... even when you’re among the ‘right’ crowd of people and you’re different... it makes you feel like you don’t belong and sometimes, you’d wish that people love you even more for your differences… but sometimes they just make you stick out like a sore thumb and that just really is annoying.

k, that paragraph didn’t make sense. just ramblings.

but at the end of the day, i choose to believe that there’s this light at the end of the tunnel… no matter how weak and tiny it may seem right now, if i just keep walking towards it, i’m going to come out basking in the full glory of it.

now, would you walk along with me?

i can never be myself again

2006-09-30T18:30:00.000-07:00

as we walk through life, we are constantly met with various meetings and partings. we are constantly on the move experiencing exciting new encounters and painful farewells. we will constantly be faced with the challenge of bidding goodbye to things we value and love.

and it's because we love, that we hurt. and i find myself constantly telling myself i will never love again, i will never love again... because everytime i love, the hurt, in that moment, seems too hard to bear.

however, human beings are more resilient than we believe ourselves to be. and we always go back to loving people... because people don't have the capacity to withstand loneliness... so we search for love, by loving. the love may not be manifested in the same form each time to the same person, but people will go on loving.

and that fills me with hope for tomorrow, because the tears of tonight will dry and pass on like the pain that was endured, and i will once again set out on my quest to love and fill my life, as well as the lives of the people around me with more hope and meaning.

it's difficult to leave a lot of things behind and lose the ones we hold dear to us. sometimes in life the saddest partings allow us to separate and break free from the past, with all its sorrows and memories, to embrace everything the future holds.

perhaps i should give a little more, and never stop giving.

no love is in vain.

neither is any pain ever in vain.

you don’t say goodbye to special people

2006-09-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

you say ’see you later’. well, for those special people in your life anyway. at least that’s what you should think to yourself. often we find ourselves in situations or circumstances when we drift apart or when things just seem to get so busy that we lose track of those who mean the world to us… but it doesn’t mean that it’s goodbye. it just means that we’ll see each other later. as long as we remember to catch each other sooner rather than much later.

this past few weeks has been exceptionally trying… many thoughts and many many temptations to just give it all up but hey, it’s almost over.

what’s more if we’ve got Him on our side yea?

how i yearn for the chance to break down in front of someone... breaking down in front of my family is not an option. i am a 'strong' boy. i don't want to add on their burdens... i don't want mummy to worry for me again. but i am a big boy. i can't just cry anywhere. unless it's someone familiar. first time crying in someone's arms. i don't know how to describe that warm fuzzy feeling. sorry for wetting ur clothes. for now i just need someone to hold me tightly and never let me go. hey Time, would u just freeze at this moment for me? would u please let me grasp my breath and continue from where i stopped. how nice would that be.

till the next exams then... i’m going to shock everyone when i become a genius, *ahem* apparently i’m already a genius, so i guess i’ll shock them when i finally maximise my potential.

see you later.

君が好きだと叫びたい

2006-09-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

i love you, and not in a friendly way, although i think we're great friends, and not in a misplaced affection puppy dog way, although i'm sure that's what you'd call it. i love you, very simple, very truly. you are the epitome of everything i have ever looked for in another human being, and i know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. but i had to say it, i just can't take this anymore. i can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you, i can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels, i can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. and i know this will probably ruin our friendship, but i had to say it cause i've never felt this way before and i don't care. i like who i am because of it. and if bringing this out tonight means that we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me, but God, i couldn't allow another day without getting it out there regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot down, and you know i'll accept that. but i know, i know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation then that means that you feel something too, and all i ask is that you please not dismiss that, and please try to dwell on it for just ten seconds. there isn't another soul on this planet who has ever made me half of the person i am when i'm with you. and i would risk this friendship for a chance to take it to the next plateau, because it is there between you and me. even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that i am forever changed, because of who you are and what you've meant to me.

...

2006-09-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

有时寂寞太沉重
身边彷佛只是观众
你的感受没有人懂

难得谁自告奋勇
体贴让人格外感动
爱上她前后用不到一分钟

嘿回想恋情的内容有谁想过有始有终

不过是一时脆弱让人放纵

穿梭一段又另一段感情中
爱为何总填不满又掏不空
很快就风起云涌
人类的心是个无底洞

尝试亲吻尝试拥抱或沟通
没有好感再尝试也没有用
大多数人都相同
喜欢的只是爱情的脸孔

没有谁背后怂恿
不该爱又爱的冲动
是你害怕孤单而拼命补充

实在痛苦

break.break.break.

2006-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

yay finally the time has come.

my long awaited term break.

time to settle unfinished issues.

praise the Lord.

is everything just a dream?

2006-09-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

sigh. bloggy how i wish to be u sometimes. the twists and turns in life are always so unexpected. there are so many questions running through my mind. but where are the answers? am i a good boyfriend? am i a good friend? am i a good project manager? am i a good student? am i a good son? am i fit to lead? have i communicate enough? have i tried to understand things? have i tried to see things her way? have i given my best? have i been making her life miserable? have i been making her cry? have i been in the right state of mind whenever i talked? have i been consumed by the devil? have i been making things better? how can i make things right? am i always wrong, or have i ever been right to begin with? is everything a test? how long will this test last? or will it ever end?

this entry is dedicated to belle. cheer up!

2006-09-17T00:23:00.000-07:00

If we expect everyone to recognize and appreciate what we have done for them.

We will certainly be deeply hurt.

We will start asking ourselves: “Is this all i get?”

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. When i became a man, i put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as i am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

When others let you down, look up.

am feeling great after some "excercise"

2006-09-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

hehe she's one little cute thing.

my theory works.

i can be a Ph.D student, but i absolutely hate a researcher's life.

she flared up instantly the moment i said i removed her fotos.

i loved that reaction.

i believe a girl is the cutest when they are swearing.

*digress*

school has been pretty fun!

but work is damn stressed!

*pulls hair*

oh my friendster's been pretty interesting recently.

more messages from strangers.

more friend requests.

plus some personal messages that my friends asked about me.

but with the exception of one "gay'.

hey but i'm not sure whether he's gay or not.

so not confirmed. but he definitely looks gay to me.

anyway he's from philippines and staying in singapore.

the msg goes like this!

are u EMT/EMS?
im suffering from chest pain what should you do?
it seem wearing an suit of medical technician.
From what base u from?
are u life line member? lots of question..
coz im interested on u ,,
i might be the to ur smile..
(sorry to interrupt here pple for ur info my primary foto caption is "you're the key to unlock my smile..." and what the hell he replied the above saying "i might be the to ur smile.."... what the... pengz lor... and the key is definitely not you ass)
AND
im nurse ...
add me to ur list (some msn address)
to protect his identity i won't list down the email.

i don't know whether i should reply to his message.

i scare what if he's really gay!

it's not i am anti-gay k.

i have gay friends but is those i knew them all along.

not suddenly wanna be my friend like that. scary.

ok let's assume if he's really a gay. here are some possible scenarios.

1) since no girls want me, i can consider becoming his friend first.
2) perhaps i should verify again whether i am straight?
3) try to fall in love with a guy in school.
4) i must love hairy legs from now on. which duhz...
5) ok i am of smaller build so what the big idea, i will be the girl in the relationship? oh god!
6) tell him hey friend perhaps u're my key but i not gay gay de.
7) diplomatically tell him friend i'm sori i loved to be a gay but i can't cos my mummy will guarantee+chop disown me.
8) most probably my jie will castrate me?
9) my jie won't let me carry yangyang anymore.
10) most probably my jie also won't let me help yangyang change diapers anymore.
11) and i won't be surfing porn anymore... haha...

omg i haven start on my report die le... ciao...

things bout' guys

2006-09-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

when a guy is quiet and is alone,
he is thinking how good you are and missing you.

when a guy is lying on his bed,
he is thinking deeply why he loves you.

when a guy looks at you in your eyes,
he wants to tell you how much he loves you
and how important you are.

when a guy answers "i'm fine" after awhile,
he is not and feels hurts.

when a guy keeps asking you the same question,
he is wondering why you are lying.

when a guy hugs you while sleeping,
he is wishing that you belongs to him forever.

when a guy calls you everyday,
he miss you and wants your attention.

when a guy wants to see you everyday,
he cares for you and want to know how are you today.

when a guy sms u everyday,
he wants you to know he is fine.

when a guy says i love you,
he really mean it.

when a guy says that he can't live without you,
he has made up his mind that you are his future wife.

when a guy says "i miss you",
he wants to see you immediately.

memories.kioku.

2006-09-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

sighs.

i am sorry my dearestest stars.

i am sorry for folding you.

i am sorry for giving you a shape.

i am sorry for giving you a hope.

i am sorry for bringing you to this world.

i don't think i am fit to own you.

and now, i am sorry for deserting you.

i hope you will forgive me.

i am sorry my fingers.

i know you have been in pain for some time.

i am sorry for overworking you.

i want to say thank you.

thank you for accompanying me through every night.

i want to say sorry.

sorry to everyone who cares for me.

the puzzle is messed up again.

but it's alright.

when there's a will, there's a way.

i will pick up the pieces from now on.

and piece them back one by one.

god bless everyone.

The measurement of life

2006-09-08T23:00:00.000-07:00

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday."

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him.

"I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture.... Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was the thing I value most," Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day, Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

"Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. "Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life."

A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes,! Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.

Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most... was... my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet... thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much that they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

4. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

5. You mean the world to someone.

6. If not for you, someone may not be living.

7. You are special and unique.

8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look; you most likely turned your back on the world.

11. Someone that you don't even know exist loves you.

12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.

14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

=(

2006-09-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

sobx. my mp3 player is spoilt. =(

why must it be spoilt at this moment?

when i need it the most.

i have nothing now.

even a non-living thing is making fun at me.

what will i do without u on my long journey to school?

what will i do without u on the long nights?

is everything a test from God.

if it's really a test can't it come later.

not this semester. when i am most screwed for sure.

God please don't ever play such joke on me again.

i have been praying sincerely and constantly.

attending school service without fail.

and is this all i gonna get!

sighs.

should i go for overseas attachment now.

my professor asked me about it.

i am so tempted to go.

but is it really what i want?

or am i just finding another escaping route?

grr. i don't know.

my mind's a blank. can't think properly.

not to say making a decision.

我不难过

2006-09-03T13:05:00.000-07:00

又站在我家的门口
我们重复沉默
这样子单方面的守候
还能多久
终于你开口向我诉说他有多温柔
虽然你还握着我的手
但我已不在你心中

我真的懂
你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有
陪在你身边
当你寂寞时候
别再看着我
说着你爱过
别太伤痛
我不难过
这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流
我也不懂

就让我走
让我开始享受自由
回忆很多
你的影子也会充满我生活
我并不懦弱
你比谁都懂
虽然寂寞
这会是我
最后的宽容

抱紧我
再次抱紧我
这一份感动
请你让我留在胸口
别再说是你的错
爱到了尽头
是非对错
就让它随风
忘了所有
过得比你快活
不要再说
或许这是最好的结果

现在分手
总好过你不爱我一拖再拖
松开你的手
离开你左右
我向前走
这会是我
真正的解脱

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

2006-09-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, "you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs". Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls".

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said "you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company". Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.

I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you", I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce." I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?" "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at
the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember." "You carried me in your arms," she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce", she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His word brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."

I held her tightly and said, "both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Dear friends, having affairs or flings do not solve anything, in fact, you are just hiding or running away from what really matter and what really mean a lot to you. Stick to our initial decision - to whom we have vowed to spend the rest of our lives with. Afterall, we are the one who made that decision to commit willingly...

inferiority

2006-09-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

what's so wrong in chinese speaking?

it's a beautiful language.

普通

2006-09-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

一切都变得向来地普通，平凡
日子已经失去了过去的热情，期待
每一个相遇也只是昨日的回音
愚弄地，讽刺地
不停息地取笑着我的愚昧

是我自己不切实际
根本就没有什么天长地久

昨天的痛苦，挣扎
也已变成了今天的普通
我就接受着感受着

日子就是如此的普通，平凡
平凡的寂寞
普通的孤单
它们都说服了我

我依旧停留在这里
一辈子的普通

.puking.spinning.

2006-09-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

during my usual shower-time pondering sessions, i was thinking about many questions?

having a spinning head now. pain pain pain.

oh God help me. just this once.

ok shall go for my haircut now.

a fragile heart

2006-09-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

if i place my heart in your hand, will you keep it safe for me?

will you cherish, love and protect it, and treat it compassionately?

i trusted another with its keep, once a long time ago

she mishandled it, dropped it and broke it

fortunately, not irreparably so

i picked it up and took it home and hid it away for a while

it was so damaged, nearly destroyed

very sensitive and fragile

i was able to put it back together, but it has never been the same

it's way too delicate to be mistreated, or tossed to and fro

until i met you, my friend, i was afraid to let it go

i'm beginning to think it's possible, to expose it again to love

if the person that i entrust it with treats it gently, like a dove

although it appears the same as all others, it's from a special lot

it may not seem distinctive to you, but it's the only one i've got

so, are you able to keep my heart safe?

i know it's a lot to ask

be honest, if you can't promise at this time, you may not desire the task

i'll just keep hoping the time will come

all good things usually do

i've learned to be patient, and i'll recognise the moment

to give my heart to you

aijou to nichijou

2006-08-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

aijou to nichijou ni karamu kokoro kisu uzumete yo!

phew. today's a long day. this week's gonna be one too.

sobx. i have accumulated so many sleeping debts to clear!

protest! >.<

should i study or sleep tonight?

tough choice!

*digress*

oh yah! went for a retinal scan today.

somemore it's free of charge!

i thought i would have some eye problems.

cos that's the primary problem for a computer scientist!

who has been facing the computer almost 12 hours a day!

oh yah i decided to be a computer scientist rather than an engineer!

anyway the result states that my eyes are in good condition.

yippee!

Pluto, a dwarf planet?

2006-08-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

I am so stressed from studying Artificial Intelligence. I am beginning to wonder why am i paying so much school fees when the lecturer obviously can't teach for nuts. And obviously 90% of the time is more of self study. I have come to a conclusion, to study A.I. you need R.I. Meaning to study Artificial Intelligence you need Real Intelligence. And obviously i don't have. But i might have Retard Intelligence. Muahaha.

Anyway do u know i love astronomy since young? Am especially infatuated with black holes. Black holes are somehow related to Einstein's general theory of relativity. Shall talk about that on my next entry or so if i have the time.

New definition of "planet"
On 2006 August 24 the International Astronomical Union (IAU) decided on a new definition of "planet" which does not include Pluto.

The IAU members gathered at the 2006 general assembly agreed that a "planet" is defined as a celestial body that:

is in orbit around the Sun
has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape
has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

This means that the Solar System now consists of eight "planets" Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. A new distinct class of objects called "dwarf planets" was also decided. It was agreed that "planets" and "dwarf planets" are two distinct classes of objects.

Some facts of Pluto
Pluto orbits beyond the orbit of Neptune (usually). Pluto is smaller than seven of the solar system's moons (the Moon, Io, Europa, Ganymede, Callisto, Titan and Triton).

orbit: 5,913,520,000 km (39.5 Astronomical Unit) from the Sun (average)
diameter: 2274 km
mass: 1.27e22 kg

In Roman mythology, Pluto (Greek: Hades) is the god of the underworld. The planet received this name (after many other suggestions) perhaps because it's so far from the Sun that it is in perpetual darkness.

Pluto was discovered in 1930 by a fortunate accident. Calculations which later turned out to be in error had predicted a planet beyond Neptune, based on the motions of Uranus and Neptune. Not knowing of the error, Clyde W. Tombaugh at Lowell Observatory in Arizona did a very careful sky survey which turned up Pluto anyway.

Pluto has not yet been visited by a spacecraft. Even the Hubble Space Telescope can resolve only the largest features on its surface. A spacecraft called New Horizons was launched in January 2006. If all goes well it should reach Pluto in 2015.

Pluto's orbit is highly eccentric. At times it is closer to the Sun than Neptune (as it was from January 1979 thru February 11 1999). Pluto rotates in the opposite direction from most of the other planets.

The surface temperature on Pluto varies between about -235 and -210 C (38 to 63 K). The "warmer" regions roughly correspond to the regions that appear darker in optical wavelengths.

Pluto's composition is unknown, but its density (about 2 gm/cm3) indicates that it is probably a mixture of 70% rock and 30% water ice. The bright areas of the surface seem to be covered with ices of nitrogen with smaller amounts of (solid) methane, ethane and carbon monoxide. The composition of the darker areas of Pluto's surface is unknown but may be due to primordial organic material or photochemical reactions driven by cosmic rays.

对不起

2006-08-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

其实，这几天发生了好多好多出乎意料的事。
一切都发生得很快，让我不知所措，久久无法开口告诉任何人。
自己也无法想明白，这几夜过得非常辛苦。
脑子里绕着圈子走，一直想来想去。
想到无法入眠，直到身体坚持不下去的地步才睡着的。
不过总算想清楚了。

xxxx，
我很感谢你对我的坦白。
我也相信你一定是想了很久才有足够的勇气来跟我说这一些。
不过你这样突如其来的告白让我感到非常困扰。
一方面，我了解你对我的感情，我也很感谢你一直以来对我的关心。
不过，很抱歉。
你这一份心意，我不能接受。
因为我已经有喜欢的人了。
我放不下的那感情，忘不了的那影子。
我得尽早跟你说个明白，否则始终会让你伤害得更深。

我知道这对你不公平。
可是我不想破坏我们之间的友情，更不想伤害你。
受过伤的我是不愿意再轻视别人的感受。
你应该也了解我这种 ‘拿不起放不下’ 的痛苦。
希望你会好好的，我也不希望你等待着我。
你说新加坡很难找到像我这样，又体贴成熟的男生哦! =)
谢谢你的祝福。
我会好好的。

祝你，
找到幸福。

faith.trust.hope - renew

2006-08-26T17:45:00.000-07:00

helo bloggy.

nothing pretty exciting to blog about i guess.

except.

was plagued with evil malice recently.

the devil's working on me.

must be due to the lack of prayers.

low faith, low trust, low hope.

all these somehow draws me closer to God.

thinking back.

i thought i've been deluding myself.

but it's a big no.

perhaps i've been listening to others too much.

yes, everything they said makes sense.

but are they fit to judge us?

guess that makes me mortal.

i won't be able to discern like God.

somehow i just love to disagree with whatever she says.

cos she's always this young girl in my heart.

but this time round she's right.

looking at her.

i realized that i hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time.

i found she was not young anymore.

she's no longer the young and willful girl back then.

yes, i grow older and more mature.

and so do her.

but i didn't notice that.

haha i think it's funny when i am spending so much time with her.

this verse somehow makes me ponder on my actions.

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

anyway yang yang is laughing his heart right now. he's so loud. >.<

if only life is all about laughing one's heart out.

hitori de

2006-08-25T00:05:00.000-07:00

my mind freezes for now.

i felt a bullet piercing through me.

and it's me who pulled the trigger.

if God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

if you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain

2006-07-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

it's incredible that so many things can happen in a few days.

i am never good at covering myself up.

i dare to say that i am the most irritating creature that existed.

swallowing anything that crosses my path.

and i can almost piss anyone off.

i swear to God that i will get out of this endless cycle.

it's not a menstrual cycle.

it's a cycle that even i cannot define.

but it certainly lies with me.

a curse that i must break free from.

time for some character education on my part.

right now i can feel this sense of tranquility.

soothing every bit of me.

once again i feel peace within me.

praise the Lord.

anyway will be away for a camp.

so if there's anything just drop me a call.

out.

...

2006-07-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

*shrugs*

what's happening? i hate it!

i seriously hate to organize gatherings from now on.

why in the world must i send out 30+ sms and only getting response from less than a third.

i dislike people to be late.

another one of the things i dislike is when people do not reply to my sms.

i mean is it really that difficult just to flex ur arm to reply and send?

i really don't understand why God gave me my character?

people claims i have good character.

always willing to go the extra mile.

why must i always be the one giving.

*digress back to 3 days ago*

prior sending out the sms i wanted to make sure which numbers are still in use.

ok so stupid nik abandoned his huge stacks of genectic notes.

and there's a quiz next week.

so he called each of them on the list patiently.

one by one, one by one, one by one.

ok so a new compiled list of contacts.

and he was just being too nice trying to compile and print contact sheets for each of his friends.

knowing that some might not even appreciate this.

but he still went to do it.

i sent out the sms like 3 days ago and indicating please reply back to me whether u r coming.

is it so difficult to type 'Yes' or 'No' plus a smiley face?

seriously i think i am the idiotic one over here.

why should i get angry with others.

i can jolly well reject them.

but they said they misses me and wanted to meet up with me plus a gathering.

*shrugs*

so i can't possibly do nothing and when everybody thinks i am super free during holidays.

hey i would prefer to rot than to do all these.

i think i am getting tired.

i should refrain myself from doing things i don't like.

and care less of what others would think.

that should do the trick.

it's pointless for me to get upset over such things.

i got better prospects than these.

the last gathering i would do will be for carol, collin, esley, gary, joel, madeleine.

a word of thanks

2006-07-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

hey cassandra!

firstly, stop calling me mr ah-beng in ur blog.

secondly, really thanks for all the compliments in ur blog.

thirdly, as a matter of fact the xiao ding dang is definitely cuter!

fourthly, i will fulfill the things which i promised u.

fifthly, i will sabo u jialat jialat during initiation night, trust me!

sixthly, thanks for teaching me to pray before my food.

seventhly, i will still sabo u during F.O.C

eighthly, i am stressed up with all the genes.

ninthly, time to get back to my books.

tenthly, God bless u!

song randomization completed

2006-07-02T03:20:00.000-07:00

hey cassandra finally u have a blog! it's like so incredible lah! i can learn proper ang moh from this hwa chong girl liao. u learn singlish from me lah. lousy pig! on the other hand my singlish also not that zai. i am zai in machine languages only. high level programming. i will teach u that if u ever get a computing elective. muahahahaha.

and oh yah after a long long debate i will be going back for F.O.C lah. so no worries on ur side lah. mahjong formation! see my hokkien power liao lah. on the other hand JC girls hokkien is so lousy one. sure must teach very long. but definitely good in GP. this year must change cheers liao. muahahahaha. pinch pple here and there u all know the best! that's proven! ok btw this is just my personal opinions it don't represents the majority.

*digress*

ok the nite is freaking long tonight and i don't feel sleepy at all now. oh lord pls put me to sleep now! to kill my boredom i've programmed a script that enables my bloggy to play random songs to random people everytime without me monitoring the site. how cool can that be. i love automation.

ok i won't be a selfish ass lah. share my goodwill to the others.

‹script language="Javascript"›
var songs = new Array()

songs.push("Brave.mp3")
songs.push("Messiah.mp3")
songs.push("Shinkai_no_Kodoku.mp3")
songs.push("Sketch_of_A_Goodbye.mp3")
songs.push("True_Light.mp3")
songs.push("Vestige.mp3")
songs.push("White_Page.mp3")

var randomID = Math.floor(Math.random() * songs.length)

var object = ""

object += '‹object
id="player"
classid="CLSID:22d6f312-b0f6-11d0-94ab-0080c74c7e95" codebase="http://activex.microsoft.com/activex/controls/
mplayer/en/nsmp2inf.cab#Version=5,1,52,701"
type="application/x-oleobject"
width="0"
height="0"›'

object += '‹param
name="filename"
value="http://www.filelodge.com/files/room24/642774/'
+songs[randomID]+ '"›'

object += '‹param name="autorewind" value="true"›'
//object += '‹!--‹param name="balance" value="-10000 0 10000"›--›'
object += '‹param name="autostart" value="true"›'
object += '‹param name="showdisplay" value="false"›'
object += '‹param name="showcontrols" value="false"›'
object += '‹param name="showtracker" value="false"›'
object += '‹param name="playcount" value="0"›'

object += '‹embed
type="application/x-mplayer2" pluginspage="http://www.microsoft.com/Windows/MediaPlayer/" src="http://www.filelodge.com/files/room24/642774/'
+songs[randomID]+ '"
autostart="1"
loop="true"
showcontrols="0"
width="0"
height="0"›'

object += '‹/object›'

document.write(object)
‹/script›

ok i guess i will force myself to count sheeps now. out.

2006-07-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

the korean show now is so full of shit.

anyway going out liao.

study abit.

then go drumming abit.

and study abit.

and drum abit.

but on second thots better study more cos next week got quiz. =(

oh yah i can't wait for F.O.C.

my fren said that all the freshies will "love" me.

i hope so cos they are in for a whole-hella-of-fun.

thanks carol

2006-06-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

just a few shoutouts.

today just feels like a day of thanksgivings.

baby: hey don't be all stressed up! even when talking to u i can feel the stress within u. *smiles* for He already have the plans for you. love love.

carol: hey thanks for ur $0.75 treat. muahahaha. anyway thxs for always being there for me. and remembering my birthday every year without failed. and always splurging money on me. it makes me feels like a gigolo. u RICH also not like that one hor. lastly, thanks for the wonderful present. God bless!

summer: hey my F2 during camp. thanks for that wonderful shoutout. i was touched. and i MISS YOU TOO! don't fret k. i believe ur sis will understand the pains u took one day. and ur ohmigod is so cute must copy liao.

back

2006-06-25T17:59:00.000-07:00

wow drumming is incredible. it always manage to reduce the amount of frustrations in me.

finally went for service with daniel. he had invited me like so many times. and cassandra is so gonna kill me cos i haven attended hers. i will make myself free girl. soon i promise. anyway he's my fellow taiwanese. we share similar eating habits. come to think of it the only difference we have down here is that i am super crap. and he's the reserved type of person. anyway thanks for talking to me. i needed it. i love talking to you. yah i promise we will have our convocation together. u don't worry too much.

ruilin: i am sorry for my attitude. anyway ur jie is getting better le so don't worry too much. guess u have been worrying about that for the past few days. just concentrate on ur studies from tomorrow onwards.

anyway i bought the district-13 vcd. it's damn exciting. let's watch together.

drums here i come

2006-06-25T12:57:00.000-07:00

tiong bahru chwee kueh. katong laksa. katong carrot cake. how can i possibly eat them all. sigh. such a pity to dump them. but on the other hand my marginal utility per dollar is still high. i am a young economist. anyway guess i will go out for more drumming. sori caren didn't go cycling with u today. scare i lao sai on the bicycle. another day k. make up to u soon.

drumsticks

2006-06-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

just got back not long. my hands are like so tired. wah so difficult to find a shop that provides binding service in tampines central. anyway managed to get it done. thanks God. u seldom fail my prayers.

joanne wanted to meet me so we chilled out at starbucks. man glad she's doing fine. anyway she's so sweet. she insists on treating me and the surprise came. she actually bought me a pair of drumsticks. how incredible can that be. how u know i like to play drums? got internal spies around! lolx. anyway thanks so much. i really love it!

after that we went to play drums. i played around 10 times i guess. that explains why my hands are so weak and tired now. anyway we didn't exchange a single word when i am playing. so sori for neglecting you. and thanks for listening to me and letting me vent my frustrations. oh yah u definitely got strong legs girl and a damn patient person. cos u stood there like for around 2 hours. salute. sori again.

omg i am famished. dinner here i come. and my cute yang yang. *pinch* *pinch* *pinch*

whee fixed

2006-06-24T03:33:00.000-07:00

wat a day!

finally fixed the 2 computers. now left my laptop only. so happy to see them "healthy". most importantly is to see them errors free. i am great! muahahaha.

xinhui my heartfelt condolences to u and ur family. be strong girl.

was talking to my friends on my way home after class. and we talked bout many issues, ranging from getting married, getting terrible kids, getting old, getting all sorts of illnesses, etc. of course got chessy stuffs too like extramarital affairs, sex, etc. anyway the above is not important. i just want to remind all my friends out there to treasure all their love ones. cos u'll never know when they will leave u. to me health is the most important thing. treasure ur health. God bless peeps!

am supposed to have a gathering. but... sigh. tired of shits! sometimes i really don't understand why people wants to meet me? ok fine we are friends! so friends ought to help each other right but are they helping me? a question worth pondering!

sometimes i just pretend to be stupid and letting others take advantages of me cos i just wanted to be nice. however, don't cross my line of defense will ya? hey come on think again. do u really think i am stupid? i've been studying neurobiology during the past few lectures. modeling dendrites, axons, synapses, neurons etc. to solve genetic operations such as offspring creation, reproduction, mutation, crossover (sexual recombination). though i can't be a doctor but i can help a doctor. only with technology will we reach the outer limits. come on must i say so much just to prove that i am not stupid? don't waste my brain cells on these stuffs anymore cos brain cells don't regenerate like any other cells on our body. when it dies it just dies and it only means u've become stupider.

some people just don't learn.

*digress*

hey summer, things on ur side sure looks bad, hope things will be fine soon. call u soon i promise k. don't always say i bluff u. it's so so bad for my reputation. hehe.

oh gosh didn't realize it's so late liao. time to orh orh le. oh almighty God, please give me some sweet dreams tonight. preferably is to tell me who will win the world cup then i will find all the big and small bookies in singapore and place bets. muahahaha.

20/06/2006

2006-06-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

it was my birthday yesterday. the date was 20/06/2006. which happens only once in a lifetime. i thank God for giving me life on this day. anyway it was also a special day to some 300+ couples. according to the news these couples chose to solemnise on this special date. oh god i missed my chance to solemnise on my birthday. =( ok never mind here is a list of other special dates i can think of to solemnise in the future. i believe i will get a chance to solemnise on one of these dates, hopefully.

20/07/2007 - age 24
20/08/2008 - age 25
20/09/2009 - age 26
20/10/2010 - age 27
20/11/2011 - age 28
20/12/2012 - age 29

which means i must get married before 30 if i want to be special. humm.

*digress*

ok i need to blog this out. i want to thank my baby for being such a super duper sweet person in my life. always there for me. and i really really appreciate all the efforts u put in. ur thoughts brightens my day. thanks for planning so much so much for me on my big day. and being in cahoots with my malay brother. go eat mee siam lah u two.

and not forgetting my beloved jie. who gave me a hefty sum of money. i love you. you are my money plant. *evil grins*

i wanna thank my beloved parents too, my stern looking dad yet constantly showering us with care. my daddy act tough only. and of cos my cute mummy who is ever so tolerating to my nonsense. i know i am crappy most of the times but i can never say these words out of my mouth to my parents. i love them. so i guess i will just pen them down here.

and lastly, i thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful family.

a picture to end this beautiful day. thanks baby.

Frente - Bizarre Love Triangle

2006-06-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

every time i think of you
i get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
it's no problem of mine
but it's a problem i find
living the life that i can't leave behind
there's no sense in telling me
the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
but that's the way that it goes
and it's what nobody knows
and every day my confusion grows
every time i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for the final moment
you say the words that i can't say

i feel fine and i feel good
i feel like i never should
whenever i get this way
i just don't know what to say
why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
i'm not sure what this could mean
i don't think you're what you seem
i do admit to myself
that if i hurt someone else
then i'll never see just what we're meant to be
every time i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for the final moment
you'll say the words that i can't say
every time i see you falling
i'll get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for the final moment
you'll say the words that i can't say

special post: tay ruilin

2006-06-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

i first met u on the 6th of nov 2004.

we have known each other for 591 days till now.

the 592nd day will be my birthday.

from then till now.

countless events took place.

be it the ups or the downs.

misunderstandings. mistakes. we both made.

nevertheless, we still stand by each other.

even in the darkest storm.

i love you.

juicy updates

2006-06-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

hey i am back i am back i am back i am back people. so nik is back to blog. sori guys for the lack of updates. i am plain lazy. u all should know that by now. will start with some updates bout the gathering with my clan people yesterday. Altos Clan, we are always the A clan.

humm... ok let me see if my memory is still good. met up with emileo, enshu, yulin, huishan, lian chen, jasmine, ray, gordon, grace, eddie, guanying, yanto & yong kang. seriously i was quite disappointed by the turnout. but never mind with me a.k.a siap siap around i will still make the gathering an enjoyable one. hahahaha... that's the power of me. summer girl if u are reading this u are not suppose to laugh off that decayed tooth of urs. i miss the siap cheer. shout with me as u read this. here goes...

siap de siap
siap siap de siap
siap siap

i guess this don't make sense to some of u reading out there. ignore me.

anyway the gathering is held at Mind's Cafe. we get special discounts and a waive of service charges. credit goes to emileo as the boss of the cafe is his friend. it's a blessing to have such friends around. anyway the food range so-so only. the lasagne is yummylicious. the spaghetti which i ate sucks. anyway grace ate the same spaghetti too. she's superb lah cos she refused to eat a second mouth after the first. so in the end i told the boss and he's damn nice lah he went to change to lasagne for grace. F.O.C

by the way if u all are wondering. a good boy like me definitely finished my plate of spaghetti. thank God! grace have you thought bout the thousands of africans? and one thing for sure girls can never make it in national service cos most of them are so picky with food.

oh yah before i forget emileo and i made fun of the boss. we told him that his taste is getting better and better le cos all the waitresses he hired are quite cute looking. no wonder business is good. humm...

after the "sumptuous" dinner we proceed to play board games. played Cranium. it's a highly recommended game by me. ok the game rules is confusing so i shall not explain here cos i am lazy. anyway the game is super educational.

ok an example question

is flammable and inflammable the same?
true or false?

the answer is true. most of us will think the answer should be false. cos the prefix in usually represents the negation. like describable and indescribable. anyway for a while i thought i am stupid. but then i am not the only one who thinks that the answer is false. all of them thinks so too. so the conclusion is all of us are stupid. we can't possibly be ntu students. lolx.

oh yesh i hate Cranium now cos i lost my penis through the game yesterday and some kind hearted soul have to remind me that i still owe them a penis. hmmph.

Uno yesh Uno i fell in love with it yesterday. it's such a simple game but when u played it in a big group it is able to bring incredible fun and laughter. definitely excellent for group bonding. seriously i played the longest Uno game in my life yesterday. just one game lasted for 30 mins and more. omg i love Uno.

the only regret i have is not able to play Jenga. i love jenga cos i am the Prince of Jenga. muahahaha. challenge me to a game of Jenga and u will know.

the juicy part came when they scrutinized my fone. from now on i swear i am not placing my phone on the table anymore. nik's secrets all exposed. sobx. oh gosh. i definitely have clan mates that got itchy hands. chop them off then u know. u know who u r. anyway to protect myself i have muted one of them and bribed the other. haha.

oh yah so wat are the secrets? since they are secrets i can't say them here. psst but u can ask me bout it and u will be on my muting/silence list. muahahahaha.

freedom

2006-05-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

WOW finally i am having my holidays le... anyway thanks to stupid oikky for keep reminding me to update my blog... u know i am a lazy bum k... and stop threatening me with the 24 days thing!!! hmmph... haha...

ok let me talk bout my schedule... i am supposely to have 3 big fat months of holidays but due to my itchy backside i took up 2 special semesters! currently i had just finished my 1st special sem... now having a short break before my 2nd special sem starts on the 19th of june! at least in this way it keeps my life occupied rather than wasting my time away... and since i cannot find a decent job anyway...

gatherings!! gatherings!! it has always been on my mind... i cant do it during term so i must definitely fulfill my promise to all my great frens out there who have been constantly standing by me... i have so many great pals to catch up with yet i have so little time to do so many things... i promise peeps i will hunt u all down ONE by ONE before u all have the chance to curse and swear at me!! give me time...

oh ya tomolo is my yue mu's BIG DAY!! cos she is getting engaged le... so happy for her to find her true love after soooo long!! i must say she really treats me like her own son during my NS days... it is u who let me learn so much things and see that there's more to life during my most down period... if u r reading this i really really wish u both eternal bliss from the bottom of my heart... i will be there tomolo... come to think of it... it's such a sweet feeling to be able to be with the one u love... grins... am so looking forward to my own ROM... i cant wait to get married... cant wait to have my own baby... dearie let's have a baby?? =) cos i just adore haoyang... jie jie u r so blessed!!

Story de Jour

2006-05-06T05:58:00.000-07:00

there were two nuns

one of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

it is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? i wonder what he wants.

SL: it's logical. he wants to rape us.

SM: oh, no! at this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: the only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: it's not working.

SL: of course it's not working. the man did the only logical thing. he started to walk faster too.

SM: so, what shall we do? at this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: the only logical thing we can do is split. you go that way and i'll go this way. he cannot follow us both.

so the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! thank God you are here! tell me what happened!

SL: the only logical thing happened.

the man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: yes, yes! but what happened then?

SL: the only logical thing happened. i started to run as fast as i could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: and?

SL: the only logical thing happened. he reached me.

SM: oh, dear! what did you do?

SL: the only logical thing to do. i lifted my dress up.

SM : oh, Sister! what did the man do?

SL: the only logical thing to do. he pulled down his pants.

SM: oh, no! what happened then?

SL: isn't it logical, Sister?

a nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

and for those of you who thought it would be dirty.

Angel Sanctuary - Messiah

2006-05-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

You, Messiah
Clockwork angel,
Wake up, shine bright,
on the endless night.
Release all my glacier time.

From him who is and who was and who is coming,
"I am the Alpha and the Omega,
the first and the last, the beginning and the end."
"I know your doings,
that you are said to live, but you are dead."
"Be awake and invigourate the things that remain
that are at the point of dying."
"Fallen, Babylon the great."
"I'm coming soon,"
"And night shall be no more."
Hallelujah! Salvation, glory and power belongs to God.

Aurora, eschaton open eyes
Midday, you'd be no more boy
Twilight, though wings torn away.

Silent sea, screaming ground, shining sky to fly
Emerald sea, sardius ground, Jasper sky to bleed
and fall as sweet rain

How You Feel; How I Feel...

2006-04-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

if i lived a thousand years

you know i never could explain

the way i lost my heart to you that day

but if destiny decided i should look the other way

then the world would never know the greatest love story ever told

and did i tell you that i love you

just how much i really need you

did i tell you that i love you

tonight

i love sake

2006-04-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

phew woke up late today, and my head is feeling a bit heavy. must be due to the sake i drank yesterday. first time drinking sake, the taste is quite bitter, and a total different experience compared to what i drank before. anyway i can't stop drinking it. that burning sensation down the throat. i love it. u guys must try it out. anyway was blog hopping and seen summer's entry. screw that person summer. oh yah catch up soon.

***summer's***
What is this issue about being in JC and POLY surfacing? The spark started off with a maple story JC idiot criticizing and commenting poly peeps are JC rejects, and the fire got started.

Well, i am a poly student myself and naturally i feel offended. Most of my poly peers are equally, if not, more offended than i am.

There is an increasing number of people opting for the poly education, not because they cannot enter JC but because they see value in a more hands on education.

I was from the triple science class in Katong Convent and being the best class, i would say about 38 out of 40 peeps went on to pursue a JC education. I am one of the two weirdos who chose to study in a polytechnic, with L1R5 of 9 points.

I made a wise choice in going to poly, singapore polytechnic for that matter, and i never regret not choosing JC. If i did, i think i would have a thousand regrets.

Poly education moulds me into a person i never thought i will be. With a million exposures to project work, presentations, final year projects and practical hands on application of accounting, I became more vocal in expressing my views and more daring in implementing new ways of doing things.

Upon making my decision to go to poly to pursue a diploma in accountancy, i didn't dare dream to go to a university. If i can make it to uni, it's a bonus and if not, i shall just make do with a diploma. I am sure you have heard about how difficult it is to go to university from a polytechnic so i shall not dwell into this issue. Apparently, you have to be the top 5% to 10% to be good enough to be eligible. And i am lucky to be part of the top 5% to 10%. *Phew*

If going into JC and Poly have an equal chance (50%-50%) of entering into a local university, I am sure many will opt to go poly instead. Correct me if i am wrong but many people chose JC cos it gives them more chances to go uni? So if the chances are equal, i am sure many would reconsider their choice, trust me.

When the government proposed to increase the uni intake for poly students, JC students grumble saying we are snatching their places and deprive their chances of getting into uni. What logic is this may i know? Calling us "JC rejects" and then say we deprive their chance to be in uni? In what capacity can a "JC Reject" deprive YOU, a JC student, of a chance to get your degree? WTF.

One thing for sure, Diploma grads are more employable then JC students. I am sure you will agree with me on that. Why? Employers are aware that poly peeps are comfortable with independent learning and working on their own. Give a JC or even a uni student the same problem and they will be struggling for help. Don agree?

I was attached to an audit firm for internship during the third year of my poly education. Along with me was another undergraduate from NTU. Yes, NTU. And we were told to do up this tax computation and cash flow for companies. I could do it with a few clicks of the mouse and obviously she was struggling and asking for help. Eventually, i got an A grade for my attachment and i guess she will most probably get herself a C or D grade.

Many a times, it is not about how much you know, it is about how much you know how to apply that counts.

Disclaimer: The above mentioned is just my own personal views and it does not represent the views of all the poly peeps. lol~ (=
***summer's***

ok i admit i was a JC reject. no big deal. to me that person that shoots whatever that crosses his/her brain is nothing but a kid in my eyes. sowing discord between everyone. sigh. i don't really care whether you are from JC or poly as long as we can hold a decent conversation, that's more important. and most importantly don't ever look down on others.

blessed

2006-04-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

i feel so blessed

my kor is so sweet yesterday

he woke up early with me

not to pee together with me lah

but to send me to the mrt station

cos i have a paper to take

am really blessed

i love my family

Winter Again

2006-04-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

mukuchi na hito iki wa shiroku
     the silent masses, breaths of white
rekishi no fukai te ni hikarete
     drawn in by the wide hand of history
osanai hi no kaerimichi
     the way home from our young days
rin to naru yukiji wo isogu
     as the cold rings out, we hurry down the snowy road
gaitou no shita hira hira to
     beneath the street lamps, lightly
kogoeru hoho ni maichiru yuki
     the snow falls dancing down my freezing cheek
me wo tojireba mukashi no mama
     when I close my eyes from long ago
kibishiku mo hibi tsuyoku ikiteru mono yo
     i see people who lived strongly during those strict days

itsuka futari de yukitai ne
     someday, i'd like to go with you
yuki ga tsumoru goro ni
     when the snow is piling up
umareta machi no ano shirosa wo
     the whiteness of the town that i was born in
anata ni mo misetai
     i'd like to show it to you
aitai kara koishikute
     because i miss you, i love you
anata wo omou hodo
     so much that i think of you
samui yoru wa mada mune no oku
     that cold night, it's still in my heart
kane no ne ga kikoeru
     i can hear the sound of the bells

noshikakaru kumo wo miagete
     looking up at the overhanging clouds
toki no hayasa no nagare ni tou
     i question the flow of the speed of time
daremo ga idaku kanashimi no
     for the sadness that everyone embraces?
shuuchaku eki wa doko ni aru no ka
     where is the last train
hidamari kureru sakamichi de
     lying in the sun, on the darkening uphill road
wakasa no maboroshi to deai
     i meet with the phantom of my youth
"genki desu" no hitokoto ni
     more than the memories stirred by "i'm doing fine"
natsukashisa yori mo tomadoi tachidomaru
     the confusion makes me stop suddenly

sugisarishi yo ni yureru hana
     the flower that sways as time passes in the world
tooku wo mitsumeteta
     from far away, i watched it
tsumetai kaze ni sarasareta
     i was exposed to the cold wind
ai wa ano hi kara ugokenai to
     since that day, love couldn't move
aitai kara aenai yoru ni wa
     on the nights when i can't see you
anata wo omou hodo
     so much that i think of you
omoide ni wa futari ga aruita
     in my memories we walked together
ashiato wo nokoshite
     the footsteps of the path we walked still remains

furitsuzuku shiroi yuki wa kokoro moyou sotto
     the white snow which continues to fall softly forms a heart-shaped
toutou to shiroi yuki wa
     the completely white snow
mujou naru hito no yo wo
     so that the world of unsure people
subete yurusu you ni furitsuzuite yuku
     can be forgiven, continues to fall

itsuka futari de yukitai ne
     someday, i'd like to go with you
yuki ga tsumoru goro ni
     when the snow is piling up
umareta machi no ano shirosa wo
     the whiteness of the town that i was born in
anata ni mo misetai
     i'd like to show it to you
aitai kara koishikute
     because i miss you, i love you
anata wo omou hodo
     so much that i think of you
samui yoru wa mada mune no oku
     that cold night, it's still in my heart
kane no ne ga kikoeru
     i can hear the sound of the bells
aitai kara aenai yoru ni wa
     on the nights when i can't see you
anata wo omou hodo
     so much that i think of you
omoide ni wa futari ga aruita
     in my memories we walked together
ashiato wo nokoshite
     the footsteps of the path we walked still remains

九佰九拾九朵玫瑰

2006-04-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

往事如风痴心只是难懂
借酒相送送不走身影蒙蒙
烛光投影映不出你颜容
仍只见你独自照片中
夜风已冷回想前尘如梦
心似冰冻怎堪相识不相逢
难舍心痛难舍情已如风
难舍你在我心中放纵
我早已为你种下九佰九拾九朵玫瑰
从分手的那一天九佰九拾九朵玫瑰
花到凋谢人已憔悴
千盟万誓已随花事烟灭

夜风已冷回想前尘如梦
心似冰冻怎堪相识不相逢
难舍心痛难舍情已如风
难舍你在我心中放纵
我早已为你种下九佰九拾九朵玫瑰
从分手的那一天九佰九拾九朵玫瑰
花到凋谢人已憔悴
千盟万誓已随花事烟灭
我早已为你种下九佰九拾九朵玫瑰
从分手的那一天九佰九拾九朵玫瑰
花到凋谢人已憔悴
千盟万誓已随花事烟灭

往事如风痴心只是难懂
借酒相送送不走身影蒙蒙
烛光投影映不出你颜容
仍只见你独自照片中

untitled

2006-04-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

wah jogging is always fun...

what a surprise!

bump into joanna...

thanks for jogging with me...

when u urself is also busy...

i appreciate it... =)

but u r so slow!

anyway no more school le...

from now till 13th next week...

then my nitemares begin...

exams!

to make things worse...

i know nuts bout this semester...

*pulls hair*

oh god help me...

give me the strength to focus...

spaghetti time!

我愛的她有妳的影子

2006-04-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

人的煩惱太多是因為記性太好
關於感情的事特別容易忘不了
所以逃
所以跑
所以失去的總是比較重要
人的煩惱太多是因為抓得太牢
關於前塵往事特別容易放不掉
有人哭
有人笑
有人在回憶路上不停的跌倒
悄悄翻開愛的心事
裡面寫滿了當年我們的結束
悄悄翻開愛的心事
偷偷的看著當初對愛的無助
我愛的她有妳的影子
熟睡的時候像個天真的孩子
我愛的她有妳的影子
微笑的時候撥弄頭髮的樣子
我愛的她有妳的影子
溫柔的時候編織未來的日子
我愛的她有妳的影子
哭泣的時候背對著我的方式

人的煩惱太多是因為抓得太牢
關於前塵往事特別容易放不掉
有人哭
有人笑
有人在回憶路上不停的跌倒
悄悄翻開愛的心事
裡面寫滿了當年我們的結束
悄悄翻開愛的心事
偷偷的看著當初對愛的無助
我愛的她有妳的影子
熟睡的時候像個天真的孩子
我愛的她有妳的影子
微笑的時候撥弄頭髮的樣子
我愛的她有妳的影子
溫柔的時候編織未來的日子
我愛的她有妳的影子
哭泣的時候背對著我的方式
有妳的影子

shade of greys

2006-03-24T02:36:00.000-08:00

sometimes i just felt threatened...

guess that's life?

For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light - Psalm36:9

我要的幸福

2006-03-24T02:02:00.000-08:00

为爱情付出

为活着而忙碌

为什么而辛苦？

我仔细纪录

用我的双眼

在梦想里找路

该问路的时候

我不会装酷

我还不清楚

怎样的速度

才符合这世界

变化的脚步生活

像等待创作的黏土

幸福

我要的幸福

渐渐清楚

梦想

理想

幻想

狂想

妄想

我只想坚持每一步

该走的方向就算一路上

偶而会沮丧生活

是自己选择的衣裳幸福

我要的幸福

没有束缚的幸福

我知道我要的幸福

就在不远处

上帝是你在呼唤我吗？

a day

2006-03-18T17:17:00.000-08:00

omg.

anyway saw this guy slapping his girlfriend at the interchange.

isn't it a bit overboard?

what did she do to deserve this?

even though if she really did something wrong.

is there really a need to slap her in front of so many people.

this only shows how low his emotional quotient is.

i almost wanted to go over and tell him.

"helo mister that girl over there is your girlfriend, not a punching bag"

you're supposed to love and pamper her, not slap her.

really felt like punching him at that point of time.

spoilt my day. =(

*digress*

anyway today's topic is on relationships.

let's learn how to be a better lover. =)

to me love is a beautiful thing.

it's amazing how fate works.

don't u think so?

it always fascinate me how two persons from different walks of life meets.

the process is worth reminiscing.

from strangers to acquaintances to friends.

and to someone you want to protect with your life.

love is a two-way relationship, a special bond built by the two.

never take your partner for granted.

more often we should give more than we recieve.

once any party is taken for granted, the relationship will start to turn sour.

it's only a matter of time the giving party wakes up from this dream.

don't be afraid to be sweet or mushy.

it's not a disgraceful thing.

and it's definitely not a childish thing either. (applicable to guys only)

you love her so be yourself.

respect your partner, he/she is not perfect.

no one is!

perfection is impossible!

accept it!

it's always good to let your other half knows what you thinks.

cos he/she wouldn't know what you are thinking of right?

more often we only change for our own sake.

but it's not a bad thing to change for the one you love too.

if it's changing for the better why not.

but it takes time for a person to change.

therefore this transition period is the toughest.

i believe he/she will see the effort being put in.

let it serve as a test for the two.

listen!

always listen to what he/she has to say.

this will mean that you shown interest.

he/she will definitely appreciate it.

ask questions if you don't get it.

and digest what you've heard.

learn something from what you've listened.

and use it to improve your relationship.

but how to use it to improve the relationship?

it's simple, try to discover his/her likes and dislikes on things.

therefore, the relationship can be improved in this sense.

anyway it is applicable to friendship too.

nevertheless it takes two hands to clap.

i strongly believe in giving your heart and soul in a relationship.

if you are not satisfied with your current relationship.

don't go looking for another one.

work on your relationship.

for the chances that the next person,

will be significantly better than this one are remote.

the reasons are simple.

when couples get together, it's because of the fresh feeling.

eveyone loves that kind of feeling, including me.

but how long can this kind of feeling lasts?

once the honeymoon period passes, the feeling just dies down.

love is just like a car where maintenance is needed.

it's also about being able to accept each other for who he/she is.

give everything that you can in the relationship.

after all by entering into a relationship you agreed to it.

i believe feedbacks and suggestions from each other is important.

especially in a relationship.

its the key element to foster a better relationship.

it's also important to voice out on our dislikes on certain things.

cos nobody is perfect.

most of the time one wouldn’t voice out.

as they are afraid it will hurt the other party.

but can you imagine if a balloon keeps taking in air.

till a certain level, it will burst.

and that's the worse situation that every relationship should avoid.

lastly, this entry is entirely from my own perspective.

i believe each of you also have yours. =)

God bless.

Point

2006-03-17T10:25:00.000-08:00

a point is not really a shape...

anyone who thinks a point is round is mistaken...

a point exists so far as interconnecting lines exist...

yet lines and everything else...

all other shapes and bodies, are made up of points...

a point is the essential invisible, the unmeasurable inevitable...

God himself may be a point, solitary and remote in His perfect eternity...

time and circumstances doesn't dictate who gets to stay in your life...

the bond created by the persons you meet far surpasses...

the amount of time which you have known each other...

by just being able to accept each individual you have known...

in one way or another has already enriched your life in some...

it's not by chance nor coincidence...

it's predestined that we meet...

destiny decides who you meet in life...

but it's only the heart that can decide who stays in your life...

lost...

2006-03-13T20:35:00.000-08:00

i wanna complain!

why must i be deprived of so much...

just what went wrong...

so many things happened...

my india is gone...

and now even my special semester is also gone...

the school don't allow me to take...

what the fuck...

what am i gonna do in the coming 3 months holidays?

i didn't plan anything for myself...

my friends told me to stay home slack...

but is it possible?

i don't seem to have any aims now...

its so funny when i say i don't know how to do a thing...

others will just say i don't want to teach...

such an irony...

omg...

spare me...

missing u...

praise the lord

2006-03-12T03:45:00.000-08:00

my lord...

things haven't been going well for me ever since the start of the year...

is this one of the many trials u have for me?

i wish miracles will happen on me once again...

just liked last year, i believe its only a matter of time right?

anyway thought of many things yesterday...

mixed feelings...

i thought i am the only privileged one having pms...

but that's not true...

my close frens are having too...

but none of us knew the reason...

we get irritated by the slightest thing...

quarrels came like daily bowels...

for me i told them bout my experience...

i try not to bring the irritable me back home...

cos i don't wanna pick any quarrels with my own family...

or make them unhappy...

cos whenever i see them smile, it just makes me happy too...

whenever i see how my mum played with haoyang...

the innocence just melts my heart...

anyway we came to a conclusion that it's due to hormonal changes ba...

perhaps it all boils down to the word 'stress'...

the stress in school is unbelievably unbelievable...

its really getting worse year after year...

i really pity the kids now cos i don't know what they gonna get next time?

i always knew what i wanted to be in the future...

but right now i feel disillusioned of the path ahead...

countless times i wanted to talk to my parents...

but i just can't bring myself to say...

why?

cos i know they have their own problems too...

just that they don't show it...

i can't be so selfish...

i am supposed to help them, not burden them...

i just can't bring myself to add on to their problems...

i can feel the many different voices that are screaming inside me...

for now i just want more care and concern...

cos it just makes me feels so much better...

the path towards adulthood is so stressful...

i wonder what lies ahead of me?

i don't even dare to think of it now...

happy one year anniversary bloggy!

2006-03-09T11:39:00.000-08:00

wat am i doing here at this hour?

pontang?

having my break so came back to my room to slack...

been having diarrhoea for the past 2 days...

sian...

i cannot fall sick now...

and how can i blog when i have tons of stuffs to settle...

cos i just feel bored...

i just want to grumble...

and i simply don't want to bother others with my own things...

so bloggy endure with me ba...

u r my only avenue to vent my frustrations le...

projects are killing me...

i am serious...

my "wonderful" member is also driving me crazy...

she's just fucking pissing everyone in my group...

is your time more precious than mine?

if it is tell me straight to my face...

wat kind of project manager am i?

i can't satisfy everyone...

stress coming from both internal and external...

i shall not mention the details here...

cos its pointless...

i shall just take the shit...

everyone has high expectations of me...

i am not a god, so don't treat me as one...

i wanna see my haoyang now, he can make me smile...

my beloved jie if u r reading this...

pls keep to urself...

i don't want mummy and daddy to be worried for me...

i am fine lah... =)

feel like hugging someone now...

so near yet so far...

haiz...

*digress*

was talking to my xiao xiao de yesterday...

she sounded so depressed...

don't be so pessimistic...

and don't imagine things lah...

it will make it worse...

trust me...

i believe it is some miscommunication...

hope things will be fine for u...

and best of luck for ur o's level...

k lah back to reality le...

though i don't really have the mood to study...

but no choice tomolo got quiz again...

when will this ever end?

haiz...

god pls answer my prayers...

i seek u...

vexed

2006-02-26T01:31:00.000-08:00

dear bloggy i abandoned u again...

my last entry is like one month ago...

this is evidence of my hectic life...

no doubt i am hardworking...

nah on the other hand being diligent is not a good sign for me...

cos i also don't know wat's happening to me...

i get mood swings nowadays...

i swear i hate it...

why why why? someone pls tell me... anyone?

i don't have pms wat...

i don't use whisper or sofy leh...

(note: this is not targeting at any particular brand of pads)

or is it a trial set by Him?

i am not like that during poly days...

then how to explain my actions and thoughts now?

i wonder...

is it her?

is it my friends?

or is it my family?

or rather is it my own expectations?

i feel stifled...

i am gald she is always there...

my friends are also going through the same shit as me...

and no doubt my family is supportive...

i guess it is my own expectations...

i have this problem, i cannot accept compromised work...

so this makes my life difficult...

i definitely cannot expect my members to put in the same effort as me...

we are just individuals...

each with our own set of vision, thoughts and priorities...

looks like i must learn to tone down my high expectations...

if not life will continue to be haywire...

haha... grumbling helps... i feel so much better...

i thought analysing a computer is cool...

but it's even cooler to analyse my own thoughts...

anyway to all my dear friends out there...

i shall see u all soon after this battle...

take care...

let's suffer together ba... hehe...

life's a struggle...

2006-01-15T10:54:00.000-08:00

hey hey so long nv update liao... paiseh been real busy pple... think gonna have less update this semester liao... damn siong... imagine having 6 tutorials and 4 labs plus time capsule event... and all the labs need lab reports... wat the hell lah... =((( ntu are murderers to my sleep... grr...... return my sleep...

anyway maybe for some time i am not going to post songs on my blog liao... cos the government are on high heels with bloggers with background songs... =( sori bloggy i must be a good citizen...

anyway am trying to slack now, after watching gundam seed destiny then i gonna mug mug mug again... no life at all... no time for myself and no time to accompany my loved ones... oh god pls help me...

another resolution this year, i must treasure pple i loved more and not take them for granted for i don't know when will they leave me... life's unpredictable... haiz...

in remembrance of the tsunami victims

2005-12-27T21:20:00.000-08:00

wanted to blog yesterday but was sicked for the past few days and still not really feeling well... wanted to blog for those tsunami victims... in remembrance of the tsunami victims on that fateful 26th dec 2004... *a minute of prayers*

just hope that the new year will be a good one for everyone... and oh ya wanna say thxs to those pple who asked bout me... i am fine de... don't worry... =) and wanna say sori to summer, i will take the present when school reopens... and carol too, collect the present from u soon k... and sori again to joey, we like forever didn't get to meet... cos i sick... will make up to u de...

anyway holidays ending soon, another 7 more days before the new semester begins... cleared all my papers but didn't really get my expected grades... but it's ok cos my mindset changed le, now i just want to get my degree and live my life to the fullest and not just academic inclined only...

i don't wanna miss out things again that i once missed in my poly times... i wanna do things i wanted but never did... and too many things happened this year such that it force me to grow out of my comfort zone... i discovered that life is not all about academic, there are much more out there... especially when i came to know of my fren's illness, seen other tragedies that happened this year... kinda scared me... i realised that health is really really important to me than anything else... cos without it i won't be able to take care of my future wife and my parents... my parents are also getting on their age, the more i can't let anything befall me... i don't want them to be worried for me... it shld be me taking care of them instead... so one of my resolution is to be more resposible with my own health... i can do it with some planning... step by step... i can... i know...

btw am in the main com for Time Capsule... got to look for sub-commers le... anyone from hall 8? god pls let me find the right pple for my com... we can't afford to screw this event...

anyway am looking forward to the new year bring it on... and treasure every moment with ur love ones...

leg pain

2005-12-15T17:38:00.000-08:00

wah seh woke up in a shock today... woke up at ard 1 plus... woke up thinking i need to go school then damn gan chiong lor... cos i think i was dreaming having exams and i overslept... damn scary manz... then my heart is like pounding... i think i am getting obsessive compulsive behavior like wat caren said... i think nothing else in this world can manage to scare me except exams in NTU... nik *pulls hair* =(

anyway had a late lunch... came back, my frens called to ask me to go online to plan timetable together for next semester... haiz didnt know it took such a long time to plan till now then manage to plan finish one... omg damn siong lah the timetable for next sem... jialat liao... grrrrrrrrrrrr...

nvm put that aside... then msn-ed non-stop... haha anyway its fun catching up with them and nicer when u get nudges for replying too slow... even nicer when u get all the shit smileys thrown at u... i got many shit smileys now... get from me if u want some... the chats are worthwhile cos more gossips available to me liao... can blackmail pple le... think this month food can dont wori le...

anyway my leg still abit pain... cos already injured+walked too much yesterday... stupid carol owe me one meal k, cos i come down all the way to funan to find u... be appreciated k... and my x'mas prezzie... u promise de...

BoyFren vs GalFren

2005-12-09T00:09:00.000-08:00

hey again a long entry but i think it's worth reading...

once upon a time, there was a Boy and a Gal who were from the same school but from different levels... the Boy was 3 years older than the Gal but somehow through frens they got to know one another... the Gal, wasn't really pretty, but still above average... was quite loud in school... as in she's the loudest among her group of frens.... but she wasn't acting loud... cos her laughter was loud... lolx... quite a funny character among her frens...

but the most important thing: they are neighbours... that's what that brings their frenship closer... they see each other everyday... Boy then gradually fall in love with Gal and begun to talk to her everyday on the phone, and sms her... Gal would then reply his sms, and when he called, she'll talk to him till she fall asleep... next morning, they'll sms each other from the time they woke up till they reach school... and then after school... and during dinner... and the cycle continues...

frens who knows about this starts to tease them... put their names together... and even their family members joke about them being together... but actually they were only frens... Boy then starts to "test" if Gal is interested in him as well... but Gal insists that they are only frens... but actually Gal is alittle fond of him... but not to the stage of like or love... they have never went out before or even meet up in school when they were alone... they only talk on the fone and through sms... communicating with each other... so Gal can't imagine them being together, thus telling herself that she don't like him at all... but when they quarrelled, both Boy and Gal can't resist messaging each other, and when they don't receive each other messages for a day, they'll feel so terrible and at a loss...

Love has already planted a seed in each of their's hearts without them knowing it...

after a few months... Boy decides to ask Gal to be his Galfren... and Gal agrees... they were together finally... but then, they broke up within 2days... no one knows wat happens... it was just their usual quarrel... and being too young to understand love, they decided to forsake love... they decide not to talk to each other... in school, they avoid each other... at the lift lobby, they pretend not to see one another... days passed, this continues... and when Boy graduates, and moved to the next level, he starts to know more people, and has a new GalFren... Gal is then devastated and sad, but she can't do anything but blamed herself for giving him up... Gal regretted her decision, and could only wish Boy all the best in his next relationship...

love comes when you most unexpected it... love is blind, you wouldn't know why you would like the other person in the first place, it just happens... and when it happens, you should cherish it and make the fullest out of it...

when 2 good frens become together, everything stays the same, just that the status becomes different... but everything that you talk about, you share with one another is the same... nothing changes... and of course, you should go out with one another, then you would find out more of each other, know the habits of each other, and see if you share the same interests... of course, all these starts off from frens... but because Boy and Gal did not go out with each other at all when they were frens, they couldn't understand each other... and when they got together, they expected too much from each other... they straightaway assume the duties of BoyFren and GalFren, which stresses them out, and causes them to split...

actually almost all relationship starts off from frens... knowing each other, knowing the interests, knowing the habits, knowing the objectives in life, knowing the hobbies, knowing the favourites... good frens may know each other's everything, but not all good frens may continue to develop into couples... some good frens may forever stay as good frens... and remain only as good frens... while some good frens may have interest in each other, but once they never cherish the oppportunity to voice that out, the other party might have found someone else and fall in love with the other person... some good frens may only be good frens, whereby they can't be with each other as they understand the other party too well... so well that if they becomes a couple, they'll only quarrel and split...

but most importantly, when ever misunderstanding happens, you should talk over it... not shout at each other or even don't talk about it... meaning avoiding it... talking over what the problem is helps... but of cos, you must talk lah... not quarral ok...

confinement "lady" in the making

2005-12-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

hey peeps some baby pics as promised... ok let see how terrific i am as a first time uncle... be patient for the pics to load ba... shldn't be too long...

cute rite? just like me so cute...

yawn yawn yawn

come drink ne ne le haoyang

may my Toto strike

u lousy thing... my Toto never tio... drink faster lah...
don't show me that constipated face... grow up then beat me lah...

anyway cooked lunch for my jie to eat lor... i am like a maid, she pour water ask me to do... drink finish ask me to wash... win liao lor... i'm not maria k my jie... (-_-''') anyway the mee sua noodles i cooked not too bad i guess... the second time i cook for a girl... first time is cook celery noodles... and someone complained... anyway i don't anyhow cook for girls de...

main actor of the day "mee sua"

step 1: prepare ingredients

step 2: fried the minced meat until smells

step 3: add in water

step 4: fool around while the water boils

step 5: throw everything else in

step 6: taste it, see whether taste horrible not

step 7: pour into a bowl and not a plate

step 8: add some garnishing if u want, but i lazy lah

update

2005-12-04T13:21:00.000-08:00

omg my sis is at the hospital, pray that everything is alrite... jiayou give me my nephew...

got back at ard 4am cos went out with caren... crazy woman... we were so hyper yesterday... ok a brief update lah went to plaza sing to get bling bling with her... she waste my time only (-_-'''), go to the shop so long to see then take longer time to decide whether she shld buy or not... i was so bored in the ladies roaming environment so i decided to go out to take a breather... they were having some looney tunes performance so i joined in with the kids to watch the show... seeing how excited and happy the kids are made me so happy... didn't know why also, perhaps its bcos i really really love kids alot... their laughter really come deep from their heart... cos kids will only laugh when they are happy and cry when they are sad... unlike us complex adults, who tends to hide our own feelings... haiz... am i one such person too? humm...

anyway after that watched chicken little, mind u the chicken is really damn cute... i salute the animators... can i be one too? but overall i like the alien kid more cos it is super duper cute lor... with the three eyes blink here blink there... i want to hug it... gonna find its soft toy soon... then accompany her to shop for some tops and jacket... but then she damn choosy lah... comment here and there... don't have the figure say don't have the figure lah why blame the clothes... they are innocent de... hahaha...

after that, the bo liao us walked to bugis... settled dinner at a jap restaurant... nice ambience... girls there also chio chio... dinner was messy only with her lah... cos she's a complain queen on top of a menses queen... keep on want soft shell crab... so we order some... then she really "treat" me good hor... i want to eat the crab... she picked only the shells to let me eat only... i wanna eat crab meat she say i can only eat the crab's EYE... u horrible thing... diaoz si ren le... overall dinner was fun... was discussing whether we shld catch "A twist of fate" or go Good Wood Park Hotel to eat the next time after adeline come back... hey adeline come back fast leh... we missed ur craps... i and u combine equals invicible de... i know u wanna use ur card to slap at one of the waitress... haha...

after dinner we go The Coffee Connoisseur for coffee to chill out cos she wanna treat me as she owe me one... and having coffee with her is not peaceful either... the waiters and waitresses are looking at us... lamer us... hehe... and after that we really don't know where to go liao... so just sat at one of the stone bench to chat chat and chat... really chatted many stuffs... from pple, hypocrites, family, children, menses to relationships... anyway one of the craps we talked is whether a girl can stand and pee... hahaha... conclusion is they can't cos they will make a mess of themselves and the toilet seat...

and more of walking, walked to Chijmes sat there crapped again... but then her mum called and called and i saw the time oh gosh it's so late liao... so we walked to 7-eleven to have a last drink... sat at one of the bus stop crapped for another session... and i send her back... almost reached her place liao but then got stupid road blocks lor for the marathon today... then the taxi uncle have to detour all the way back and travel another route... ma fan lah u... but the uncle very apologetic de, tell us sori that the meter is chalking up... haha... nahz i told him its ok cos not his fault... anyway both of us reached home safely...

anyway i have such a wonderful talk with her, a fun nite indeed... am looking for more frens to chill with me... just give me a call...

bling bling

troublesome girl

the food is nice, don't give me that kind of face

insomnia

2005-12-03T03:28:00.000-08:00

humm so late liao guess everyone is sleeping le ba... can't get to sleep cos i didn't receive that important call... nvm... now whole body aches cos past few days had been busying painting my room... finally done le... nice nice... hehe... anyway chatted a long long session with caren today... she's became more siao since the last time i met her... more auntie liao... and don't always corrupt mabel... keep on bad-mouthed mabel only lor... hehe... wat happened to u? last time u not like that de... now menses irregular le ba then u changed le... now talk to me break break break only... sad... lolx... anyway u got lots of tissue paper de hor... haha... really crapped alot liao until i laughed until no strength le... tomolo we going to get the blink blink dunno wat dorothy thing... and she promised to treat me coffee... but i want more than that lor... a meal at least... and maybe watching chicken little... i been wanting to catch that show le... tomolo everything u treat liao lah... cos u so rich... and since u don't like to waste my money...

anyway me really bored now... so just now blog hopping and read read read... see happy blogs and sad blogs... more gossips more rumours... so fun... haha... and then i read one chapter of the curious dunno simi dog incident story book given by caren to me as a birthday gift... paiseh ah so long then i start to read, almost 6 mths liao then i flip the book... anyway i don't have autism k... diaoz (-_-''') k lah think i shld force myself to sleep le...

why choose an engineer boyfriend?

2005-11-28T15:04:00.000-08:00

i found this quite interesting so gonna post it... cos i am an engineer... =) read it read it... hehehe... btw this post is not targeting at any of the profession k...

Let me tell you why girls should eventually marry an engineer over a Law, Management, Arts or Medical graduate. He has three distinct advantages over the rest of the graduates.

Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle
An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too. Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law firm. Most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan. The arts graduate is still looking for a job. And the medical graduate is still living in a hospital.

Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness
An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear. Unlike the lawyer who will argue with you. The management graduate who will try to control your spending, The arts graduate who will 'change major'. And the medical graduate who will operate on you. And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'one'. Say that you like one of their project and they will be hooked to you forever.

Advantage 3: An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust
Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - The lawyers will lie about everything. Management graduates will cheat your money. The arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that. Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you.

So girls, why procrastinate?
Get an engineer as your boyfriend!

And above all, Engineers understand and applies the Right Hand Rule which means the best!

whee... exams are over...

2005-11-26T22:28:00.000-08:00

wah finally i smell freedom... cos exams are over... so many things happened during such a short while... pple are asking me to update my bloggy so here i am... anyway don't know wat to update also... lost my blogging skills le... sori bloggy... give me time to make up to u... hehe...

yesterday marks the end of my one semester in ntu... it is such a tiring journey from the first day of school till now... thinking back i always think uni life is "chicken feet" as i came from a poly background but i was wrong... go in yaya papaya lah then i suffered like shit... =( seriously it is really very different... the pace and workload in uni is 10 times stressful compared to when i am in poly... frens says i got white hair... =( haiz nvm at least i learnt a lesson and hopefully it will aids me in planning my schedule for my next semester...

putting studies aside wat makes me happy is that i made a real good bunch of frens... which i believe the frenship will stay strong... all of them are so fun and loving... always willing to lend me a helping hand when i need it by going the extra mile... especially during the times when i fall sick... appreciate it... feel so blessed with them ard... thanks god...

anyway i got a whole hella of to-do-list... shall plan it out in these few days ba... ex. gatherings with frens to let them know they are not forgotted, spend time with family, lighten my mum's load by helping out chores till school reopens... go out with girls... =) go see my son timmy... (-_-''') kboxing session, early revision of next semester modules... etc... these are some of those i can think of for now...

hopefully i can fulfill them in this short holiday... will try my best de... lalalala... am feeling so happy now... yah and also shall blog more often before school starts... k i go Zzz liao... finally can sleep in peace liao... hehe... peeps out there pls take care... will contact u all soon...

how bad is your temper according to your horoscope

2005-10-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

haiz busy busy busy... i want some time for myself... fly me to the moon... anyone?

ARIES     MARCH 21 – APRIL 20

Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologies, which makes them easier to forgive.

TAURUS     APRIL 21 – MAY 20

You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so when you do lose your cool, people don’t know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and anyone trying to pacify you will be the first one to get a verbal bashing. You generally get upset when you are concerned or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate being reminded about mistakes you’ve made in the past. You also have the potential to be terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way.

GEMINI     MAY 21 – June 29

You are recognized by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you are the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically. But when you lose cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by your seductive charm.

CANCER     JUNE 21 – JULY 21

Considering how charming, caring and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in your effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.

LEO     JULY 22 – AUGUST 21

If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don’t care about opinions. You don’t like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use critical language. A dressing down can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever.

VIRGO     AUGUST 22 – SEPTEMBER 21

Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions but those of you given to temper tantrums can certainly get violent. When see things with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close at hand. You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top table or wall. You should never get into any argument, for you are a sore loser. You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don’t quite respect your opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever.

LIBRA     SEPTEMBER 22 – OCTOBER 22

Did someone say that you are the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it’s true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You are very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into self-congratulatory mood. Your family or those very close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it.

SCORPIO     OCTOBER 23 – NOVEMBER 21

Of course you don’t lose your cool. But your very demeanour (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (human). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose and you are raring to give your piece mind to the first person that try to be funny with you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone for when you scream, your voice tends to get shrill and loud and you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.

SAGITTARIUS     NOVEMBER 22 – DECEMBER 20

You are insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You’re also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you’re upset with them.

CAPRICORN     DECEMBER 21 – JANUARY 19

Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and genuine emotions. You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide from others. You can see thing with anger but will not betray your feelings. But then, there are times that even you cannot control your temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and scream, more with frustration at the situation than with anger at any particular person. Your outbursts can shock others and can make them feel guilty too.

AQUARIUS     JANUARY 20 – FEBRUARY 18

You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavor to be perfect and socially correct in your behavior and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation and will be bitter about it for a long time.

PISCES     FEBRUARY 19 – MARCH 20

The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You are very sensitive to others’ feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things take a nasty turn. You will yell and use harsh words and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up. Your creative imagination is at its best when angry, and you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you refuse to listen to reason and wish to be left alone. But once you calm down, you repent your tantrums and seek forgiveness. So nobody can be upset with you for too long.

a simple day...

2005-10-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

humm just a quick entry ba... just had my shower and guess wat? don't know which idiot came and steal my clothes... which i hanged on top of the door... luckily its my dirty clothes (underwear, clothes...) that i hanged outside, my clean clothes+clean underwear are hanged on the hooks on the inside... phew... haha... as usual talk shits and work with my roomie while i bath... hehe... oh ya so happy got 2 A+ and an A- for my quizes... and yup exams are coming!! so near... i am freaking... i must be more serious in my work le... ganbaranakerebanaranai!! (meaning work hard in japanese) oh ya there is hall supper later which i don't know whether i shld go for some reasons... dilemma... god pls give me directions... i need it right now... k lah back to my work liao... tomolo still got lab test... i shld not think about other things which i shldn't be thinking at all at this stage... nik ah nik buck up... don't fall behind... don't let ur parents down... don't let pple who care for u worried unneccessary... signing off...

宿命

2005-09-30T21:07:00.000-07:00

1。
"眾裡尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處"
2。
如果人生可以沒有盡頭
我將會花費一生的力氣
等下去
3。
有些人是很幸福的﹐能出雙入對的穿越人群
誰也不理誰﹐就一直走下去
也有些人總會抱著希望在人群中尋尋覓覓
抱著希望來﹐帶著失望去
4。
放棄 ? 我不懂
哭泣 ? 我也不會
從然在燈火闌珊處
我找到了不如意的答案
那也將不會是結局
5。
在我的世界裡就是這樣
沒有什么能不能 ﹐對或錯 ﹐可以不可以
我就是我﹐你還是你
就是這樣沒什么理由
6。
只是因為錯過
才懂得惋惜
只是因為想了
所以才決定
也只因為失去﹐我才明白了要爭取的意義
7。
我不是白痴 ﹐ 只是在情感方面比常人固執些

ほんとうにあいですか？

2005-09-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

1.
昨天的昨天我遇见了她
此时的今天我正想着她
今天的我要写昨天的她
往后我想应该都会这样
2。
我们坐在车厢的左边，好多人站在右边
是车的中间，也是我们的右边
我在她左边，她在我右边
我望向窗边，却把心放在她边
这样坐着，坐着
那时我发现了最简单的幸福
就在这属于我们俩的小小空间
我慢慢的爱上了这个人
3。
窗外我看到了最浅色的蓝天
是黎明时的天空
云朵带着最纯的白
是没有瑕疵的白
空气中正带着淡淡的香气
是她散薄的气息
此时也听见了最美妙的音乐
是我的心跳和她那微微呼吸声的交响曲
4。
从前我认为这样默默守候的爱情以足够
是因为没想过往后带来的伤痛
现在这样默默的等待
何尝不是为了下一次的相遇
如果说了爱又说什么不舍望拥有，那定都是假的
我没那么伟大，往后只是想牵着她的手过这一生
你我在这世纪诞生，成长，直到相遇，却又不相识
是命中注定的结局吗
5。
待续。。。。。

omg... head in orchard...

2005-09-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

wow shocked to hear the news of the multilation... wat's Singapore coming to... a 2nd case within such a short period...

anyway put that aside, wow from the last entry i haven been blogging for almost a month... brought many things back today to wash... like bedsheet, pillow sheet cos i too lazy to wash myself and also i want to maximize the potential of my washing machine... haha... cos next week is my term break liao... finally can break away from this hectic and stressful environment...

how i wish i can catch up with some of my frens... =( i wanna say sorry to my fellow frens that had always been supportive of me... sori i can't be there for u all when u need me... sori... and sori to those that i rejected when they ask me out... cos i want to attitude mah... cannot meh!!! hee... no lah seriously is bcos i am really busy with my work... tons of them and tons of quiz... time nv seems to be enough for me... i need 48 hrs a day... got to work harder a bit... discrete maths and maths 1 is a killer... i must conquer u 2... i shall make u my slave and not the other way round... and building circuits is tedious but fun... OR, AND, NOR, NAND, NOT, EX-OR, EX-NOR gates... i love u all and u are going to be my 'best frens' thruout this 3 yrs... think i am crazy liao...

ok let me put all the sufferings aside and talk bout some good things... good thing is i really made a whole lot of new frens that liked me... they enjoyed my company, love my craps or simply say they cannot survive without my craps... haha... to tell the truth my crap skills really improved much much more than last time... if u think i am a piece of crap last time, then u really must think again wat am i now... hehe...

and i like to thank those that motivates me when i almost break down... thank you... hee... HALL 8 BLK 43 rawks... k i also don't know wat to update liao... back to study liao ba... and to my fellow frens all of u r not forgotten k... another 3 mths to endure only, then i will see u all soon...

and tomolo i going down to boonlay to study... me will be at jurong point macdonald... those who want to see me can go there find me... lolx... see all my weekends burned... damn it...

don't know when my next entry will be also haiz..................
so some special shoutouts to some of my good frens...

xiao de: thxs for calling that day... miss me rite... so caring... once a xiao de always a xiao de... cannot esacpe from me... evil... read ur blog seems like u got some problem also, update me again k... just dial my number when u feel like talking... take care...

maddy: let me wish u advance 'happy birthday' first scare i forget... hope u understand... take care too...

caren: SMU girl... super envy u... especially ur modules... *jealous* curse u next sem jialat schedule...

carol: sori ah am really super busy... so sori for not being able to take a look at ur PC...

collin: must jiayou for ur university k... don't slack ah... be the best com sci student... CURSE u get order 5 differentiation, laplace transformation, laplace expansion... curse u!!! and if u need help in ur programming, feel free to approach me provided i can help lah...

gary: aiya the blog is not dead and the owner is not dead too... u busy with girls again rite... how i wish i also have this privilege... hmmm... must leave some for me k...

irene: hey u r not coffee to me... the test not accurate... if i can choose i will choose no.9 (forget wat item liao)... lolx... don't think too much k... move on...

:) - thxs for being supportive always... and i think i am a good adviser... good luck k...

out...

stress, stress, stress...

2005-08-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

hi pple... been really really long since i last blogged... sori sori for those who still visit my blog... my apologies... and also sori to my beloved bloggy neglect u for so long... i will update briefly on wat happened during camp, school life, etc lor... oh ya before i update i wanna announce a piece of good news... which is i passed my qualifying english test... seriously i nv thot i will make it... thxs god... the essay question is tough... in fact i was hoping for questions like 'a visit to the zoo with bala' or something similar...

ok the one week camp is definitely fun and tiring... made lots of new frens and played many many games... and kena forfiet to kiss birthday girl, ruth... yucks... lolx... then kena flour all over me... shout many many cheers until no voice... then amazing race ard singapore and sentosa till blisters popping up all over my feet... also there is one fright night where u get to hold timid girls hand, eat their 'tofu' cos they are all so SCARED screaming ard here and there... even the pple posing as the ghosts are scared of the girls... lolx...

then at the end of the camp we have an event called SP night which actually stands for secret partner night where u will randomly be paired with a girl and have candlelight dinner... after that is go disco chiong... drink vodka... talk cok sing song play mahjong...

and oh ya did i mention i become very famous during camp... cos of the amount of rubbish that came out from my mouth... pple are just simply amazed by me be it guys or gals... lolx... yah and in the end i got the best freshie award... and i got a new nick over there... everyone call me 'siap siap' which is a long story that i am lazy to type out here... those interested can ask me lor...

ok so now to my school life... hostel life is definitely fun but i don't really get all the fun... why? cos of the stupid workload i get... the lecturers there just assumed poly students know EVERYTHING... seriously the way they teach sucks... it just end up u need to research on ur own on every modules... i have been like studying studying studying since the start of school... NO LIFE at all... long time nv touch my PC, long time nv watched tv, long time nv go out with frens, long time nv watched movies, long time nv go ktv... all my weekends are dedicated to my huge amount of tutorials and labs... i simply had no time for other things... am trying to manage my time better... most of the time now i spent is on my work and family... cos i really had little time for my family...

seriously how i wish i can come online more often... still waiting for my new laptop to come... i wanna say sori to all my frens that gave me support all this while... sori if i neglected u all... i am guilty i know... haiz... i believe u all will understand...

lastly, to those who wanna take up engineering course... better don't take lah... cos engine maths is like siao and f-maths sucks... pui...

i'm going off

2005-07-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

hey peeps just a short update... yah i am ok... thxs for those who called... anyway was busying packing my stuffs just now... cos going for my hostel camp tomolo... the last camp before school commence... it will be a 6 days camp so i won't be around till sunday... so excited now... u all really cannot imagine the amount of stuffs i am going to bring tomolo... 2 large bags... oh boy i am getting stronger... lolx... oh ya going to spend one night at sentosa... think it will gonna be fun... and also the amount of mozzies that will suck my blood... darn it... and also the island wide puzzle competition... just thinking of all the travelling here and there i gonna have is driving me crazy liao... hehe... anyway i gonna bath and sleep early liao cos got to wake up at 5am tomolo to catch the early train... see ya peeps... will update again when i come back lah... miss ya...

caren - oei nu ren u going to send simi sai to my place? don't send when i having camp leh...

xiao de - must miss me hor... don't anyanyhow flirt with others hor...

:) - must ganbatte and take care... and ur menses is coming le... haha... yah i know i am bad... so?

this smile i wear

2005-07-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

i sit here...

thinking of you...

thinking about the memories we shared...

i miss them & i miss you...

since the moment you said goodbye...

i haven't been the same...

something's been missing...

it's my smile...

people began to feel sorry for me...

they would be afraid to laugh...

their smiles began to fade along with mine...

so, now this smile i wear...

i wear it everyday...

taking it off only...

when i'm in my room at night...

then i let it all out...

my pillow is wet from the tears...

i lie there until i fall asleep...

i just need you to hold me tight...

i need to hear you say...

those sweet words to me once more...

so i can take you in my arms...

& hold onto you forever...

i wish i could just leave...

the fake smile at home...

so they would all realise...

my suffering isn't over...

my heart is still broken...

into a million pieces...

at the bottom of my soul...

i wish they knew...

so i could have some comfort...

so they could tell me...

it's going to be alright...

my life without you...

has been so unbearable to live...

& i hate every second i breathe...

because it just proves...

i can live without you...

only God knows...

how much i miss you...

he only knows how much i cry...

with every tear that falls...

my heart gets weaker...

& my hope for "us" fades...

i had so much faith in our love...

i thought that it alone...

could get us through anything...

people say time heals the hurt...

but if they lost someone like you...

they would know it isn't true...

you tried to tell me things would get easier...

with everyday that goes by...

i hate it when i get asked...

how we're doing...

i hate to disappoint them...

& tell them...

we exist no longer...

please tell me this isn't what you wanted...

please tell me what i feel is real...

goodbyes don't have to last forever...

because i know...

we were meant to be together...

rule of sale

2005-07-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

wow finally got back... phew... carried many stuffs... my mum was shocked when she saw the amount of bags i brought into the house... went shopping with john today... i bought many many clothes & pants... but that stupid john only bought one shirt only... its like he accompany me to shop shop shop only... paiseh ah... & i like spent around $200 plus liao... shopping is damn fun especially when u r buying things u like & not the one paying... thxs to my dear parents... love ya all so much... muah... & "fighting" & pushing around with aunties in a sale is definitely a "fantastic" experience... i swear i won't lose out the second time aunties... grrr.... i gotta learn to be like them... the few rules to win in a sale...

1.) throw ur image away
2.) give ur opponents cold-hard-stares
3.) be as rough as possible

most importantly

4.) have big breasts cos with bigger breasts u can perform better... example. during the "fighting" of the clothes when u swing hard u might indirectly hit ur opponents with the breasts... thus that might stop their actions for a while... hehe...

sadly i can only fulfill the first 3 rules...

Glay - Winter Again

2005-07-09T03:02:00.000-07:00

tsukareta...

2005-07-09T02:05:00.000-07:00

wow again me the last one to get back... thxs for the cab... haha me been training hard for basketball... i love my fencing too lah... hehe... finally got my hostel allocation today... i am staying in hall 8... pple tell me i will be famous in hall 8... why? cos i crap like nobody business mah... haha xiao junjun is my roomate... so cool rite... haha i loved calling u that... and the sad thing is the course structure gonna change a bit... haiz need to go for the briefing then i won't be so blur... seriously i am damn blur and seh now... seh seh seh... must sleep after my maggi... a hungry man is dangerous cos he will make a mess of the kitchen...

xiao de: sori didn't keep my promise supposed to watch movie with u... cos i was tied up with some stuffs...

finally it's all over...

2005-07-05T16:43:00.000-07:00

finally some updates from me... haha... went to collect my japanese results yesterday... is my last level and i will be moving on to advance level... will be getting my cert next week... anyway bad and good news lor...

good news is i scored 86 marks this time round, and my average for 8 papers is 93... although not wat i expected but i shld be thankful cos wat to expect for a 1 day mugging on 50 chapters... i can't believe i did it... anyway the paper is really difficult maybe bcos its the last paper, first time i find it challenging... tricky in this sense... i sat thru the whole paper, first time i did not leave the room early...

now for the bad news, since i have passed all the requirements i am now able to promote to the advance level... but god knows the schedule for my uni timetable... i won't get it till the 25th... so i can't register just yet...

next, even if my schedule permits i also not sure whether i shld register... i am contradicting rite? bcos i have my fencing, archery, basketball training and maybe a stupid club... why all the other hostel students so on... why can't they slack abit, then i can also slack... damnit...

sori ah bloggy always an avenue for me to vent my frustrations... always tahan-ing my huge amount of vulgarities... nah give u a muack to make up to u lah...

anyway last sunday finally able to find time to help carol fix her computer... i went out during noon but only able to see the PC at 7pm... why leh? cos when i met her she was having gathering with her frens so i just tagged along lor... go crystal jade to meet them eat lunch... ai seh when i saw them its all girls sia... a total of 8 girls... and i am the only guy lor... u all shld know i very SHY wan wat... so i just eat and never talk much... the best part is i didn't pay a cent... cos the girls treated me...

next i thot can go repair computer liao but no they have more plans, go KTV... kaoz i like within one month got ard 10 times KTV liao... i "lost voice" le... hehe... then proceed to party world for KTV... then i damn paiseh during one moment... they ordered beer and stout... and ask me drink but i say i don't want... then they asked why? then si carol go say he scare he will "anyhow anyhow" when he drunk... diaoz lor... (-_-''')

lolx anyway had fun lah, and also the best part i didn't pay a cent again... carol treated me... thxs ah... then reached her place around 7pm to fix the computer...

another 25 days... ntu here i comes...

2005-06-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

wow finally i got time to sit down in front of my computer to blog... sori to the peeps that called me personally to ask me to blog or where the hell i disappeared to... see i am blogging now... anyway been busy with my japanese, university stuffs, gatherings, family, playstation 2... and camps, interviews, camps, camps, camps... hectic life... lastly to the guys out there i am not busying with girls lah... diaoz lor u all... hahaha...

ok so now as promised the kbox pics taken last sunday during gathering with xiao de... others xiao de cannot jealous k cos the company is sending her to bangkok to work for half a year... so must understand i cannot see her for half a year... anyway u r coming back on 30th dec then we gather again... in the mean time all the best for ur work...

anyway sori lah irene cannot accompany u today to make spectacles cos i many days not home liao mah... must understand i will homesick de... sobx sobx... and be good son... hope ur spectacles spoilt again soon then i can accompany u liao lor...

signing off now going to study my japanese liao... sigh...

2005-06-30T06:40:00.000-07:00

ah seng and me... ex-gay partners... (girls pls note: i am straight now) hehe...

2005-06-30T06:38:00.000-07:00

xiao de, kerwin, me...

2005-06-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

the ah bengs of the day... btw the song is love ~dakiatte~ ok... is not wat baku teh... diaoz lah u all...

2005-06-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

wah first time xiao de so engrossed...

2005-06-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

hey give me that mic u !@%^!#%$...

2005-06-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

mr nik will teach u all nursery songs...

care for your liver

2005-06-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

watched Initial-D liao definitely a must see peeps... this entry is dedicated to all my frens... let's work together a healthy lifestyle although it is difficult... xiao de better sleep early ah after u see this...

The main causes of liver damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are the main cause.

2. Not urinating in the morning.

3. Too much eating.

4. Skipping breakfast.

5. Consuming too much medication.

6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener.

7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.

8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver. Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store.

We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to "schedule."

Because:

9pm - 11pm
is the time for eliminating unnecessary/toxic chemicals (de-toxification) from the antibody system (lymph nodes). This time duration should be spent by relaxing or listening to music. If during this time a housewife is still in an unrelaxed state such as washing the dishes or monitoring children doing their homework, this will have a negative impact on health.

11pm - 1am
is the de-toxification process in the liver, and ideally should be done in a deep sleep state.

1am - 3am
de-toxification process in the gall, also ideally done in a deep sleep state.

3am - 5am
de-toxification in the lungs. Therefore there will sometimes be a severe cough for cough sufferers during this time. Since the de-toxification process had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need to take cough medicine so as not to interfere with toxin removal process.

5am - 7am
de-toxification in the colon, you should empty your bowel.

7am - 9am
absorption of nutrients in the small intestine, you should be having breakfast at this time. Breakfast should be earlier, before 6:30, for those who are sick. Breakfast before 7:30 is very beneficial to those wanting to stay fit. Those who always skip breakfast, they should change their habits, and it is still better to eat breakfast late after 9 or 10 rather than no meal at all.

Sleeping so late and waking up too late will disrupt the process of removing unnecessary chemicals. Aside from that, midnight to 4am is the time when the bone marrow produces blood. Therefore, have a good sleep and don't sleep late.

happy birthday to myself...

2005-06-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

firstly i would like to say thxs to all those peeps that celebrate my 22nd birthday with me... although its not as important as my 21st bday but all of u still bother to celebrate with me... i am seriously very very happy... and thxs for the presents... love ya all... and of cos my family too... been having 3 cakes in 3 days and 3 different flavours... (guys u all can buy no. 3 for toto this week)

ok for today which is suppose to be my big day but i didn't go anywhere special cos my super xiao de asked me to visit our primary school teachers... but to my surprise our teacher already retired at the beginning of this year... we're too late... anyway put the sad stuffs aside... i am so touched that my super xiao de still remembers my bday and is late cos she went to buy cake for me... for this u r forgiven... although its the smallest birthday cake i ever had in my whole life... nevertheless i still felt happy... cos at least she bothers to put in the effort... thxs thxs thxs...

in the end we decided to catch movie at shaw... wanted to watch Inside Deep Throat which is a R21 show... but darn it the show already started 15mins... so we settled for Premonition... anyway there are like only 3 pple in the whole big cinema, so scary... especially when that siao char bo screams like nobody business... and scare me also lor till i topple the popcorn box... kaoz u... anyway its a nice show to watch but got all those suspense and u gotta use ur brain abit to understand the show lah...

after that is shopping time, cos i wanted to get some stuffs b4 i go uni... so we went parco but to my surprise saw a group of young kids playing at the fountain... wat really surprises me is one of them is totally NAKED... that caught my attention... and u know how much i love kids or shld i call it fetish... oops... and somemore got camera in my bag so i decided to take some pictures to keep... in case the boy next time grow up become some famous pple or celebrity i can extort money mah... i am smart rite...

anyway the pictures below contained mature (kids) content... its not PG, NC(16), M(18) or R(21) but classify as K(12) so all of u shld be of legal age to see lah... hehe... anyway even is rated stuff, i bet u all also will see wan lah... cheers... and happy birthday to myself again...

2005-06-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

my smallest birthday cake ever in my whole life... and a almost castrated candle... lolx... so thoughtful... thxs...

2005-06-20T10:06:00.000-07:00

siao char bo stop eating u're getting fat liao lah... for ur info she really can eat like mad...

2005-06-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

wat kind of cinema seat is this? and such a mess u siao char bo...