why the change... kutabare na...

life hasn't been smooth sailing for me all this while... not gonna talk bout other things anymore... aiya the past few days is like hell to me... and this hell is not gonna end at all... no amount of complaints help... got home at almost 11pm everyday... cos my shift changes... can only leave at 9pm if i'm "lucky" enough... damn the shift... the worse is i gonna have my dinner outside and can't eat with my family... sobx... can't they change after i disrupt... anyway first day of work was the worse, got a real bad headache and also felt dizzy in the morning... then thot of taking off but in the end still went to work... thot can tahan... then the headache got worse... and perspiring cold sweat when on call, got a feeling like want to die like that... i told myself gotta hold on... cannot fall now... wat made it worse is the constant fainting spells... like going thru pregnancy like that... maybe watched too much first mums on channel 5 liao... and really have no appetite to eat at all that day... bought breakfast and lunch but cannot even complete half of it... and even felt nauseating... gosh wat's happening to me... luckily the temperature girl at the hospital offered me medicine... really appreciate it... and i actually don't wanna take the medicine de but in the end really cannot tahan liao then i took it... only get better for a while and the thing comes back again... wat made it worse was i gonna work till 9pm everyday duty... and after duty took my dinner outside and still i cannot eat finished... got no appetite… it's really a terrible feeling... and only got a bit better yesterday... yesterday got many many calls and was like working every single minute... sibei jialat... and got home ard 11:15pm... so sian... i so hate the shift cos i can't see my parents, can't do things as usual, can't do things i want... fuck them... everyone is complaining bout the shift... they think we got no life is it... and saturday is my japanese promotional exam... i have no time to study... can i make it? i haven touch the books till now... cannot believe i'm still blogging at this crucial moment... ganbarinasai tomodachi...