this smile i wear

i sit here...

thinking of you...

thinking about the memories we shared...

i miss them & i miss you...

since the moment you said goodbye...

i haven't been the same...

something's been missing...

it's my smile...

people began to feel sorry for me...

they would be afraid to laugh...

their smiles began to fade along with mine...

so, now this smile i wear...

i wear it everyday...

taking it off only...

when i'm in my room at night...

then i let it all out...

my pillow is wet from the tears...

i lie there until i fall asleep...

i just need you to hold me tight...

i need to hear you say...

those sweet words to me once more...

so i can take you in my arms...

& hold onto you forever...

i wish i could just leave...

the fake smile at home...

so they would all realise...

my suffering isn't over...

my heart is still broken...

into a million pieces...

at the bottom of my soul...

i wish they knew...

so i could have some comfort...

so they could tell me...

it's going to be alright...

my life without you...

has been so unbearable to live...

& i hate every second i breathe...

because it just proves...

i can live without you...

only God knows...

how much i miss you...

he only knows how much i cry...

with every tear that falls...

my heart gets weaker...

& my hope for "us" fades...

i had so much faith in our love...

i thought that it alone...

could get us through anything...

people say time heals the hurt...

but if they lost someone like you...

they would know it isn't true...

you tried to tell me things would get easier...

with everyday that goes by...

i hate it when i get asked...

how we're doing...

i hate to disappoint them...

& tell them...

we exist no longer...

please tell me this isn't what you wanted...

please tell me what i feel is real...

goodbyes don't have to last forever...

because i know...

we were meant to be together...