praise the lord

my lord...

things haven't been going well for me ever since the start of the year...

is this one of the many trials u have for me?

i wish miracles will happen on me once again...

just liked last year, i believe its only a matter of time right?

anyway thought of many things yesterday...

mixed feelings...

i thought i am the only privileged one having pms...

but that's not true...

my close frens are having too...

but none of us knew the reason...

we get irritated by the slightest thing...

quarrels came like daily bowels...

for me i told them bout my experience...

i try not to bring the irritable me back home...

cos i don't wanna pick any quarrels with my own family...

or make them unhappy...

cos whenever i see them smile, it just makes me happy too...

whenever i see how my mum played with haoyang...

the innocence just melts my heart...

anyway we came to a conclusion that it's due to hormonal changes ba...

perhaps it all boils down to the word 'stress'...

the stress in school is unbelievably unbelievable...

its really getting worse year after year...

i really pity the kids now cos i don't know what they gonna get next time?

i always knew what i wanted to be in the future...

but right now i feel disillusioned of the path ahead...

countless times i wanted to talk to my parents...

but i just can't bring myself to say...

why?

cos i know they have their own problems too...

just that they don't show it...

i can't be so selfish...

i am supposed to help them, not burden them...

i just can't bring myself to add on to their problems...

i can feel the many different voices that are screaming inside me...

for now i just want more care and concern...

cos it just makes me feels so much better...

the path towards adulthood is so stressful...

i wonder what lies ahead of me?

i don't even dare to think of it now...